Saturday, February 5, 2011

HELP! I have two guys for Valentine's Day!

[Article first published as HELP! I have two guys for Valentine's Day! on Technorati.]

With Valentine's Day coming up, everyone is scrambling to find a Valentine. Some lucky folks even have two! Like in this woman's dilemma, the reader needs to choose between two guys.

Question: I have a dilemma. I am seeing two different guys and they both asked me out on Valentine's Day. I'm not exclusive with either one of them since I’ve just been just casually dating. For both of them I told them I'm not sure if I will be free because I can't decide who to spend it with. One of them is a great, stable guy that I enjoy hanging out with. The other one is more fun but I'm not sure if he is the commitment type. If they were both put together into one person, then he'd be perfect! I feel like if I reject one of them the other one will be offended and not date me anymore. Should I go to dinner with one then grab drinks with the other? Should I just pick one? HELP! (Miami, FL)

Social Shrink: No matter what, we recommend that you do not go out with one for dinner then drinks with the other. Do you just want to make yourself even MORE confused?! We think not.

If you are juggling more than one guy, a good general rule is to give it at least a day before seeing the next guy. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if a guy came from a date with another girl to meet up with you. Or, what if he cut dessert short with you to grab drinks with his other date? If you don't like either of them, then take a break this year from Valentine's Day. If you are keeping the two of them around for an ego boost – get over yourself! Don’t string these poor guys along like puppy dogs.

If the problem is that you don't know who to choose, think about what you are looking for in a significant other and then think about the qualities of each guy. Are you looking for someone that has a good job? Adventurous? Smart & educated? Good sense of humor? Try to figure out what you are looking for in a guy and see which one fits the bill. Nobody is perfect so you might not find everything you want in one of these guys, but I'm sure there are more good qualities in one than the other.

If you are not looking for a serious relationship, then why not have fun with the guy that is more fun but less committed? If you see yourself with the more stable guy in the long run, then go with him. Either way, use this opportunity to get yourself together and pick ONE guy for your needs. While we commend that you are able to get lots of guys to want to date you, we also don’t promote doing it just for an ego boost or because you’re selfish. (They aren’t toys.) The dating scene is always complicated — try to figure out what you are getting out of dating these guys and go from there. Good luck!

What would you do if you were in this situation?


  1. I agree with SS! However, who you spend Valentine's Day with doesn't mean you will end up with that person. Just choose one and let the other one know you are busy having single girl's night out or have work that night. You can continue seeing both unless one of them or you wants something more serious. No harm in that!

  2. You should live it up with your two guys! I don't see anything wrong with going to dinner with one and dessert ;) with the other. I mean, they both asked you out afterall, who are you to deny them?