Monday, November 29, 2010

My boyfriend offered to pay for my boob job... should I do it?

Please do not go to the extreme like Heidi Montag
Question:  I've been dating my boyfriend for about three years and one day I started joking about getting a boob job.  Ever since then, he's been bringing it up with me for weeks on end even though it all started off as a joke.  The other day, he sat me down and seriously offered to pay for me to get it done.  He even printed out a list of doctors in the area that he had researched on.  He's 100% serious and although it caught me off guard, I'm considering it since it is something I've thought about.  Should I do it?  Or will I regret it?  (Sacramento, CA)

Social Shrink:  I'm going to answer this truthfully as if you were my sister or good friend.  When I first got this question from you, my initial reaction was that your boyfriend doesn't love you for who you are.  The fact that he is offering for you to change your body shows that he is not satisfied with the real you.  Are you not offended that he doesn't think you are perfect the way you are?  A significant other should love you both inside and out for everything you are.  If they one day say something like, "Dress this way" or "Think this way," I would personally think it's a red flag that they are not the one.

BUT, if this is something that you (and you alone) truly wants to do, I cannot tell you what you can and cannot do to your body.  If you feel like you will be a happier person and it's something you're doing for yourself, that is ultimately your decision.  It does help that you will be getting financial assistance for this procedure, but it is surgery and it always comes with risks.  My advice is that once you know for a fact that this decision is strictly yours, research the health risks so you know exactly what you're getting into.

We had a post a few days ago about healthy body images for young girls.  It is truly important that you embrace who you are and every part of you as beautiful.  If you feel the need to change your appearance for external purposes (to fit in, boyfriend, etc.), then you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.  Each person is unique - no one will look exactly like you, so if someone says that you need to look a certain way or look like someone else, that is taking the uniqueness out of you.  

We wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.  We also hope that this boyfriend loves you whether or not you decide to move forward with this procedure.

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  1. Beautifully written socialshrink! Love the advice and I totally agree, whatever you do, do it for you! Everyone should love you for you who are, inside and out!

  2. If you want new boobs, go for it. Who knows if he will stay in your life he one of those crazy types...that when you break up with him, he'll expect you to pay him back? If so, you might want to hold off until you can pay for this yourself.

  3. Good point, Miss Melicious! He may use it against you that he's paying for them and then use it as a trap to keep you in the relationship...

  4. Breast mutilation is terrible. There is no such thing as an "enhancement". So many women ruin perfectly good breasts because they think that men like that. In my experience, most men that I know think that real breasts are always better. Oh, and I'm a man.....