Thursday, June 14, 2012

"I still love him but not sure where his mind is!"

Do you wish he was your boyfriend like Justin Bieber's song?

Question:  Hi there

I dated a guy for a year in that year he proposed twice I said no twice , he had started drinking too much even during the week coming late said its work stress him not been payed on time, then these thoughts came to my mind when we have problems in marriage will he drink like this ? And I had lost my job a month ago my contract expired , I have my pride I don't want to depend on a man. I knew he loved me I loved him too. But I couldn't marry him . We got into an argument he left the country and didn't even call to say merry Christmas he broke up with me in january when I had decided I'd marry him and was been silly , he said he didn't want to feel obligated to love me, I was always calling him. I left heartbroken.

Then 3 months later I called coz some girl was harrasing me about him,he apologized wanted to know how I am , 2 weeks later he sent a message askin how I am. He sent a pic asking if I saw it it was a pic of me he took on his birthday we were waiting for the sunrise coz I'd never seen it , That was April we still talking 2 months later small talk jokes just not sure if this means we are friends? He calls me by my nick names he used to give me I say Mr okay yesterday I said Dear but it was in an innocent way.

I'm not going to lie I still love him but not sure where his mind is not sure what todo at all,

Please offer advice

Answer:  Thanks for reaching out!  We are sorry that you are facing such issues with this guy.  If you want to try and are interested in making it work you should try to communicate that with him and see where he stands.  This is the best time to talk about all your problems you had and what you need from each other to improve your life together. Right now, you guys are not as emotionally attached, so you guy can start on a clean slate.

Also, consider what you love about him and what your hesitations were when he asked you to marry him.  These problems don't go away because you are married, there are fundamentals things that need to be worked on before you make a huge commitment like that. After all, it is for the rest of your life, right?  I think you do need to find out why he drinks so much, consider also that you guys will one day have kids.  If you don't like him drinking so much now, will you be okay with it when you have kids?

If he has truly changed and you think he's the one then I say go for it! After all, there might be a reason why you guys ended up talking again, if it's meant to be, let it be!