Question: Social Shrink - I broke up with my girlfriend three months ago. Ever since then, we haven't talked or have even seen each other. As a result, I compulsively Facebook stalk her so I know know what she's up to. She still puts regular updates and photos all over her Facebook page and I always need who is posting on her wall. If I see a guy has written something, I need to stalk him as well just to make sure she's not seeing him. I'm realizing that this isn't helping me get over her and don't know what to do! I can't de-friend her since it will be obvious, but every time I sign on Facebook I go right to her page. What should I do? (San Francisco, CA)
Social Shrink: Congrats on admitting you Facebook stalk! There are many of us out there that will never admit how much we stalk people on Facebook, but let's get real - everyone does it!
What is very obvious is that you still have feelings for your ex. This is natural, especially if you both went out for awhile, and it will take some time for you to get over her. It won't get any easier (or faster) if you keep stalking her and having her on your mind every second. The time you're spending stalking her you could be out meeting new girls to potentially date.
We agree that de-friending her may be too drastic. In fact, what we think is the best idea is for you to LOG OFF Facebook, step away from your computer (or phone), and get out there and interact with people face to face! Limit your time on Facebook to maybe once a day (in which case, a quick peek on her FB page may be okay). You will feel less guilty because you will be out socializing and interacting with other girls rather than wasting time stalking her on the internet all day. This way, you will be out doing your own thing and you never know, this may lead her to start stalking you!