Thursday, June 14, 2012

"I still love him but not sure where his mind is!"

Do you wish he was your boyfriend like Justin Bieber's song?

Question:  Hi there

I dated a guy for a year in that year he proposed twice I said no twice , he had started drinking too much even during the week coming late said its work stress him not been payed on time, then these thoughts came to my mind when we have problems in marriage will he drink like this ? And I had lost my job a month ago my contract expired , I have my pride I don't want to depend on a man. I knew he loved me I loved him too. But I couldn't marry him . We got into an argument he left the country and didn't even call to say merry Christmas he broke up with me in january when I had decided I'd marry him and was been silly , he said he didn't want to feel obligated to love me, I was always calling him. I left heartbroken.

Then 3 months later I called coz some girl was harrasing me about him,he apologized wanted to know how I am , 2 weeks later he sent a message askin how I am. He sent a pic asking if I saw it it was a pic of me he took on his birthday we were waiting for the sunrise coz I'd never seen it , That was April we still talking 2 months later small talk jokes just not sure if this means we are friends? He calls me by my nick names he used to give me I say Mr okay yesterday I said Dear but it was in an innocent way.

I'm not going to lie I still love him but not sure where his mind is not sure what todo at all,

Please offer advice

Answer:  Thanks for reaching out!  We are sorry that you are facing such issues with this guy.  If you want to try and are interested in making it work you should try to communicate that with him and see where he stands.  This is the best time to talk about all your problems you had and what you need from each other to improve your life together. Right now, you guys are not as emotionally attached, so you guy can start on a clean slate.

Also, consider what you love about him and what your hesitations were when he asked you to marry him.  These problems don't go away because you are married, there are fundamentals things that need to be worked on before you make a huge commitment like that. After all, it is for the rest of your life, right?  I think you do need to find out why he drinks so much, consider also that you guys will one day have kids.  If you don't like him drinking so much now, will you be okay with it when you have kids?

If he has truly changed and you think he's the one then I say go for it! After all, there might be a reason why you guys ended up talking again, if it's meant to be, let it be!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

How do I choose between my family and my boyfriend?

'Twilight' example: Would you choose a vampire boyfriend even if your family approved?
"I want to be loyal to my family,  but I'm still so heartbroken" 

Question: I'm a 20-year-old girl who fell in love with a guy that, according to my family, is not up to my standards. I'm studying medicine, he doesn't even go to university, and instead is working, but we’re the same age. We're different nationalities but I've studying in his country for six years. I met him when I was in year 1, and I'm about to start year 3 now. I love him and he is everything to me. Anyway my mum wants me to marry a doctor, and someone who has the same nationality because according to her, foreigners will divorce me anyway. My bf broke up with me because he wants a serious relationship, and I'm heartbroken. It's been almost a year and I have a new bf now that I am not in a serious relationship with because I'm still not over my ex. He drops a 'hi' every month or so, he shows concern and care, but he never did say anything about love. I still love him, but I didn't tell him because I feel he doesn't want me any more. I'm so confused, I love him a lot, but my family hates him a lot, and both sides and myself also are not happy. What should I do?

Answer:  Wow, that is quite a dilemma. Love is always complicated and to make this even more complicated, your situation involves your family and current boyfriend.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

When do I know if I should get a new job?

Are you bored at work?  Ask yourself what's causing this boredom!
Question:  I've been at my job for almost three years and lately I've been bored of it. When I was looking for other jobs, they don't seem that interesting to me either. Do you think it's time for me to leave my current job and find something else? (Chicago, IL)

Social Shrink:  That depends: why are you bored with your job? Is it not challenging enough for you? Is it doing the same thing every day and you don’t feel like you’re learning? Are you so used to it that it bores you? Are you going nowhere in your job?

Monday, March 28, 2011

I'm dating someone who has emotional baggage

Question: The girl I'm talking to has a lot of emotional baggage but I really like her.  Is it better to just find someone who doesn't have so many issues, that way I can have a clean slate? (Seattle, WA)

Monday, March 21, 2011

He won't change his Facebook status to "In a relationship" with me...

Question:  My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months now. On my Facebook, I still have "Single" as my status and I've wanted to change it to "In a Relationship."  When I brought it up to my boyfriend about it, he refused to put that on his Facebook.  Not that it's a big deal, but I think it's strange that he refuses to acknowledge our relationship. After we had that conversation, I've been paranoid that he might be seeing someone else or not wanting anyone to know about me. Do you think I'm overreacting? (San Francisco, CA)

Saturday, March 19, 2011

How do I know if she likes me? 10 signs she's into you...

Does she have a crush on you?

Question:  I've been hanging out with this girl who I like, I just don't know if she likes me back. I've known her for a couple of months and we're good friends, there is definitely flirting going on between us and I feel like there is great chemistry. But the other day I saw her talking to other friend of hers (who is a guy) and she was also flirting with him. Is this just her personality or am I reading too much into it? How do I know if a girl likes me back? (Boston, MA)

Are we dating?

[don't be like Dustin and Heather]
Question: I've been talking/seeing this girl for the past few weeks. We send each other texts throughout the day and always chat online, and we've hung out a few times. All my friends are asking me what we are, like is she my girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc. I'm not really sure what to tell them. I really like her but because of our busy schedules, it's hard to meet up. The other night, I met another girl, who seemed interested in me. She asked me if I was dating anyone and I wasn't sure what to say. I would ask this girl out if it's okay with the first girl I've been talking to, but I'm not even sure if we are dating. What should I do? (Las Vegas, NV)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

7 simple rules for your first date

Make sure your first date leads to romance!
Question: I went on a first date with this guy the other night. I thought it went great but when I told my friends about it, they were very skeptical. They were coming up with all these "first date" rules about how he should have paid for everything, opened doors for me, walked to my apartment door and come get me, etc. I feel like all that stuff is too old fashioned and not sure if I agree with these "rules." What do you think? (Santa Monica, CA)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My new boyfriend is suffocating me! Is he a Stage Five Clinger?

"Stop stalking my life!"
Question:  I've been on a few dates with this guy and I really like him. The only problem is: I need some space. When we go out to dinner or to bars, he is all over me… and I mean ALL over me. Like, he will wrap his arms around me and not let me go. I'm not going anywhere so I don't know why he needs to be like that with me. We're not even officially together (though I'm not dating anyone else) but he acts like we are. How do I let him know I want a little more space without him thinking I don't want to see him anymore? (New Orleans, LA)

Monday, March 14, 2011

What college majors will make me the most money after I graduate?

Annual pay for Bachelors graduates without higher degrees. Typical starting graduates have 2 years of experience; mid-career have 15 years. See full methodology for more.

Question:  I’m a senior in high school and I just got accepted into a few schools and I’m so excited to start college!!! I’m researching different majors and I’m still deciding what to choose.  I’m debating on whether I should major in something that will earn me lots of money after I graduate.  What are some majors that guarantee big $$$?  (Washington, DC)