Saturday, March 19, 2011

Are we dating?

[don't be like Dustin and Heather]
Question: I've been talking/seeing this girl for the past few weeks. We send each other texts throughout the day and always chat online, and we've hung out a few times. All my friends are asking me what we are, like is she my girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc. I'm not really sure what to tell them. I really like her but because of our busy schedules, it's hard to meet up. The other night, I met another girl, who seemed interested in me. She asked me if I was dating anyone and I wasn't sure what to say. I would ask this girl out if it's okay with the first girl I've been talking to, but I'm not even sure if we are dating. What should I do? (Las Vegas, NV)
Social Shrink: Take Dustin and Heather's example in MTV's current season of Real World: Las Vegas. They made out a couple of times and Dustin developed feelings for her. When Heather was dared to make-out with their roommate, Mike, Dustin  was livid. But why was Dustin so upset? They only made out a couple of times and barely know each other. Are they dating because they hooked up and Dustin has feeling for Heather? Did Heather break the rules of dating by making out with Mike?

Dating is hard to define and there can be many different stages. If you've been talking to this girl non-stop for the past couple of weeks, you guys likely have a mutual attraction and  interest in each other. If you don't want to ask her, then ask yourself if this girl is potential to be in a relationship with you. Generally, if you are talking to her, seeing her and you want to see where things lead, then you guys are dating.

Since this other girl came along, it's definitely up to you whether or not you want to ask her out. Even if you two are dating, that might not mean you guys are exclusive. But before you do, make sure you look at the situation if it were reversed. If she went on a date with another guy, would you be upset or disappointed? Would you think she doesn't like you back because she is seeing other guys? Just because you guys haven't defined what you are, doesn't mean both girls shouldn't be treated with respect. If you do go on a dates with the other girl you met, it's best to be upfront with both and let them both know you are seeing someone else but that is non-exclusive. Not everyone goes by the rule, "don't hate the game, hate the player;" you should treat others how you want to be treated.

1 comment:

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