tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57333503166800170442024-02-21T03:02:02.852-08:00THE SOCIAL SHRINK...Everyday people answering everyday questions...THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-40615055754087731902012-06-14T10:27:00.001-07:002012-06-14T10:30:24.324-07:00"I still love him but not sure where his mind is!"<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/41840353" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="400"></iframe> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://vimeo.com/41840353">Justin Bieber - Boyfriend (Official Video)</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user5516588">Kimao</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Do you wish he was your boyfriend like Justin Bieber's song?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;"><u><b>Question:</b></u> </span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">Hi there<br />
<br />
I dated a guy for a year in that year he proposed twice I said no twice , he had started drinking too much even during the week coming late said its work stress him not been payed on time, then these thoughts came to my mind when we have problems in marriage will he drink like this ? And I had lost my job a month ago my contract expired , I have my pride I don't want to depend on a man. I knew he loved me I loved him too. But I couldn't marry him . We got into an argument he left the country and didn't even call to say merry Christmas he broke up with me in january when I had decided I'd marry him and was been silly , he said he didn't want to feel obligated to love me, I was always calling him. I left heartbroken.<br />
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Then 3 months later I called coz some girl was harrasing me about him,he apologized wanted to know how I am , 2 weeks later he sent a message askin how I am. He sent a pic asking if I saw it it was a pic of me he took on his birthday we were waiting for the sunrise coz I'd never seen it , That was April we still talking 2 months later small talk jokes just not sure if this means we are friends? He calls me by my nick names he used to give me I say Mr okay yesterday I said Dear but it was in an innocent way.<br />
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I'm not going to lie I still love him but not sure where his mind is not sure what todo at all,<br />
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Please offer advice</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;"><u><b>Answer:</b></u> Thanks for reaching out! We are sorry that you are facing such issues with this guy. If you want to try and are interested in making it work you should try to communicate that with him and see where he stands. This is the best time to talk about all your problems you had and what you need from each other to improve your life together. Right now, you guys are not as emotionally attached, so you guy can start on a clean slate.<br />
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Also, consider what you love about him and what your hesitations were when he asked you to marry him. These problems don't go away because you are married, there are fundamentals things that need to be worked on before you make a huge commitment like that. After all, it is for the rest of your life, right? I think you do need to find out why he drinks so much, consider also that you guys will one day have kids. If you don't like him drinking so much now, will you be okay with it when you have kids?<br />
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If he has truly changed and you think he's the one then I say go for it! After all, there might be a reason why you guys ended up talking again, if it's meant to be, let it be!</span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span></i></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-63182400479708092122011-12-01T14:24:00.002-08:002012-06-14T10:22:23.374-07:00How do I choose between my family and my boyfriend?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrj_2V3sHXDa2PnaIb99HLTzy2Hmr71HymnH3l5N0kvH9wpOOLzCzSPLs8WsN9vEnI-qaRJkebcoRyTN-xwVMrNxGlW5AJQOarWC_jcNx0BUL8G5uHYpYjK9sjvfiVQ3BRxITJmZuvtVPX/s1600/twilight-wallpaper-twilight-series-5067123-1280-1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrj_2V3sHXDa2PnaIb99HLTzy2Hmr71HymnH3l5N0kvH9wpOOLzCzSPLs8WsN9vEnI-qaRJkebcoRyTN-xwVMrNxGlW5AJQOarWC_jcNx0BUL8G5uHYpYjK9sjvfiVQ3BRxITJmZuvtVPX/s320/twilight-wallpaper-twilight-series-5067123-1280-1024.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">'Twilight' example: Would you choose a vampire boyfriend even if your family approved?</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"I want to be loyal to my family, but I'm still so heartbroken" </i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><b>Question:</b></u> <i>I'm a 20-year-old girl who fell in love with a guy that, according to my family, is not up to my standards. I'm studying medicine, he doesn't even go to university, and instead is working, but we’re the same age. We're different nationalities but I've studying in his country for six years. I met him when I was in year 1, and I'm about to start year 3 now. I love him and he is everything to me. Anyway my mum wants me to marry a doctor, and someone who has the same nationality because according to her, foreigners will divorce me anyway. My bf broke up with me because he wants a serious relationship, and I'm heartbroken. It's been almost a year and I have a new bf now that I am not in a serious relationship with because I'm still not over my ex. He drops a 'hi' every month or so, he shows concern and care, but he never did say anything about love. I still love him, but I didn't tell him because I feel he doesn't want me any more. I'm so confused, I love him a lot, but my family hates him a lot, and both sides and myself also are not happy. What should I do?</i></span></div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><b>Answer:</b></u> Wow, that is quite a dilemma. Love is always complicated and to make this even more complicated, your situation involves your family and current boyfriend. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: small;">First of all, do what you think is best for yourself and what makes you happy. Yes, your family is important and wants to be there to support you, but it's ultimately your decision. After all, if you and your ex end up together, you are the one that will be with him for years to come, not your family. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Though it may be hard, your mom and the rest of your family might just have to get used to the fact that whoever you choose is in your life is because you want them to be. While your family is looking out for your best interests, make sure they are doing it because they want you to be happy but remember: it is YOUR relationship. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Weigh out the pros and cons about being in a relationship with your ex. If you feel like being with your ex makes your happy, then let him know that you are ready to be in a serious relationship. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">As for your current boyfriend, it doesn't seem fair to be in a relationship when you know you are in love with someone else, does it? Imagine if you were in your boyfriend's shoes. If you are sure you are still in love with your ex, then be fair to your current boyfriend and let him know the relationship isn't working out. You don't need to tell him that you are still in love with someone else but at the very least, don't string him along. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Remember, it's your life, do what is best for your and good luck!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-1173625405569210232011-03-29T09:43:00.000-07:002011-12-01T14:25:33.609-08:00When do I know if I should get a new job?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVNQv_KClWPcbEBV_xeA7B8VXMNAqv6yMPFaaSXf3c3jEtaGVECypCph3goSjH-9lJ_nr-i7LkaaFf-w57xNPGCJrJt0whQE237J291RzoIvfu69OvQ0ZYSpfKY_YbEggsuKoi4mHyI6Rg/s1600/bored_man.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="268" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVNQv_KClWPcbEBV_xeA7B8VXMNAqv6yMPFaaSXf3c3jEtaGVECypCph3goSjH-9lJ_nr-i7LkaaFf-w57xNPGCJrJt0whQE237J291RzoIvfu69OvQ0ZYSpfKY_YbEggsuKoi4mHyI6Rg/s320/bored_man.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.brainbasedbusiness.com/uploads/bored_man.gif">Are you bored at work? Ask yourself what's causing this boredom!</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I've been at my job for almost three years and lately I've been bored of it. When I was looking for other jobs, they don't seem that interesting to me either. Do you think it's time for me to leave my current job and find something else? (Chicago, IL)</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">That depends: why are you bored with your job? Is it not challenging enough for you? Is it doing the same thing every day and you don’t feel like you’re learning? Are you so used to it that it bores you? Are you going nowhere in your job?<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u></u></b></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The reality is that no one wants to work. It'd be great if we could stay home and watch <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCwQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fabc.go.com%2Fshows%2Fall-my-children&rct=j&q=all%20my%20children&ei=8wqSTcq7Dey10QG8o_DMBw&usg=AFQjCNFeUC-ccLW3TDAZXyjHClMiQ0sySg&sig2=OLAkJj6HGyE2Ex-jczgNuA&cad=rja">All My Children</a></i> all day. Yet it’s not always about the money. It’s about growing professionally, doing something you love, and waking up each morning excited to do something you’re passionate about. Some questions to ask yourself: what <a href="http://www.amazon.com/You-Majored-What-Mapping-Career/dp/B0042P56CQ?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">career path </a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B0042P56CQ" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />do you want to go in? Is your current job taking you there? In the next two to three years, where would you ideally like to be in your professional path?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If your current job has the opportunities to make it more challenging and for you to grow, then finding a whole <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Leaders-100-Day-Action-Plan-ebook/dp/B001RIO2OY?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">new job </a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B001RIO2OY" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />is unnecessary. You should take advantage of the fact that you've been there for a few years now and you’ve built a foundation within your company or organization. Request a meeting with your boss asking for more responsibility or take more initiative if you want to fill up your plate more. Don't be shy about letting your superiors know what you want – if they are good bosses, they will care about your professional growth as well.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If you are looking for more career growth and feel you are not getting that with your company, then it's time to move on. If you’ve discussed options with your boss and they’ve told you that there isn’t much more room for growth, then that is a clear indication that you’re approaching a dead-end in that job.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">To find a job that fits you best, reach out to your network of friends, family and colleagues and identify those who are in a similar career that you’d like to get into or eventually be in down the line. Find out what steps they took to get where they are and assess how you can get there. If it’s time for a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/New-Job-You-Reinventing-Yourself/dp/0345508807?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">new job</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0345508807" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />, it means it’s time for you to be the “Three P’s” - Persistent, Proactive, and Positive that you will find the next best fit. If all you’re finding are jobs that don’t interest you, then you are looking in the wrong places. Locate where you want to be and then dig deeper. For example, if you want to work at Domestic Violence shelter, don’t wait for <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Job-Hunting-Online-Counseling-Networking-Self-Assessment/dp/1580088996?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">job listings </a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1580088996" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />to pop up. Proactively seek Domestic Violence shelters in your area, research directly on their website, and reach out to those who may have connections or who are in this particular career. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">We commend you for taking a step back and realizing that it’s time for a transition into the next phase of your career growth. Good luck!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Need more tips on if you should quit? Check out U.S. News and World Report's Article “</span><a href="http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/my-money/2011/03/28/10-signs-its-time-to-quit-your-job"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">10 Signs It's Time to Quit Your Job</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">.”</span></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-25562143754948504872011-03-28T12:20:00.000-07:002011-03-29T09:44:40.228-07:00I'm dating someone who has emotional baggage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi65esURjK01JS8fvVy5fFaaz0BlV86trWDjNdvQV0Xxq6hPJZPtCewdHtF1vnvnZmfsvoDidOr20GdlyMz5ByVoXuZTyFBDwJQudncuIFJbvS3ltwK_KFweW7v71KAAgLBuT34JU1koD0E/s1600/emotional-baggage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="161" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi65esURjK01JS8fvVy5fFaaz0BlV86trWDjNdvQV0Xxq6hPJZPtCewdHtF1vnvnZmfsvoDidOr20GdlyMz5ByVoXuZTyFBDwJQudncuIFJbvS3ltwK_KFweW7v71KAAgLBuT34JU1koD0E/s320/emotional-baggage.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The girl I'm talking to has a lot of emotional baggage but I really like her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it better to just find someone who doesn't have so many issues, that way I can have a clean slate? (Seattle, WA)</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> That depends - how much do you like this person? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone has <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Resilience-Dealing-Unfinished-Business/dp/0517888254?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">emotional baggage</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0517888254" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /> to some degree; some definitely have more than others. NO ONE HAS A CLEAN SLATE! Baggage always comes with the person. If this is someone you are very interested in, then it might be worth it to stick it out with them. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Depending on her baggage and how much you have on your plate, you should ask yourself if this is something you can handle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does she constantly bring up her baggage from previous relationships?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does she ask you if you have ever cheated, broken a girls heart, etc?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If this is something that is always talked about by her, it may be too much for you to deal with at such an early time in your relationship with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also indicates that she needs some time on her own before she can truly get over her ‘baggage.’</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Baggage doesn't last forever, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you let this person go now, will you regret it later? Maybe this person needs a friend to help them get through their issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you willing to be there for them? </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It also depends on what her baggage is (like her ex cheated on her and now she’s are super paranoid).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She may just need some time to heal. You can still be a friend so she understands that not everyone will hurt her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once you can earn her trust and eventually allow her to mend, a relationship could potentially be able to blossom that much better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also needs to understand that her baggage does not define what you have with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make a decision on whether you want to be that person that helps her get over her past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If so, let her know what happened in the past is in the past and you are willing to help her trust again and heal.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In time, she will come around and learn to trust again as long as you don't take advantage of her vulnerability or be a rebound.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take your time letting the relationship develop and allow her time to mend.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Go with what will be worth it to the both of you in the end and TAKE THINGS SLOW.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you two have a connection and it seems like there’s a future, go with the flow and don’t rush things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you really like her and the two of you are meant to be, her past baggage will be just a bump in a long road ahead.</span></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-11575103605252476472011-03-21T09:41:00.000-07:002011-03-28T12:20:42.872-07:00He won't change his Facebook status to "In a relationship" with me...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5S4cD2s9xBdjN4UFYoFe5oLdFYEUU7_0rGF_2zFaEobdo8qsecbIE3ALKUEL-NKdGuaA3UtZm-moJu5hbjA5P6Aoaod9PaE79kOTjKn3H_o_OzV7Ca1bAUlOIc-2twZo-0gVugVMbIquQ/s1600/facebook.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5S4cD2s9xBdjN4UFYoFe5oLdFYEUU7_0rGF_2zFaEobdo8qsecbIE3ALKUEL-NKdGuaA3UtZm-moJu5hbjA5P6Aoaod9PaE79kOTjKn3H_o_OzV7Ca1bAUlOIc-2twZo-0gVugVMbIquQ/s400/facebook.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months now. On my Facebook, I still have "Single" as my status and I've wanted to change it to "In a Relationship." <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I brought it up to my boyfriend about it, he refused to put that on his Facebook. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that it's a big deal, but I think it's strange that he refuses to acknowledge our relationship. After we had that conversation, I've been paranoid that he might be seeing someone else or not wanting anyone to know about me. Do you think I'm overreacting? (San Francisco, CA)</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> Living in today’s digital world, social networking plays a huge part in our daily lives (whether intentional or not).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Facebook pages have become an additional aspect of our identities – we may put a lot of thought into our profile photo, our status messages, and what we include in our “About Me” sections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it comes to relationships, however, it is not as clearly defined across the board.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You bring up an important question: Should one’s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Facebook-Dummies-Leah-Pearlman/dp/0470878045?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Facebook</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0470878045" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /> relationship status validate one’s relationship in real life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do the two go together hand-in-hand?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There are multiple possibilities as to why your boyfriend may not want to put “In a relationship” up on his Facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He may be a private person and doesn’t want to put his “business” on public display.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does he have limited info on his Facebook as it is (i.e. when you visit his page, is it pretty bare with no photos and no status messages?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If so, not wanting to put his relationship status up there makes sense.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Alternatively, does your boyfriend have a bunch of girls posting on his wall telling him they miss him or can’t wait to hang out?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does his Facebook page portray him as this party guy who is ‘pimping’ with all the girls?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If so, he may want to maintain this ‘<a href="http://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Wish-about-Dating/dp/0801068401?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">single guy</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0801068401" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />’ persona and show the online world that he’s single and ready to mingle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That may be more of a reason to worry and extends way beyond whether or not he puts “In a relationship” up on his page.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the issue is that you think he is cheating or can't acknowledge your relationship, then you have other issues rather than Facebook and need to confront that head-on.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A couple of other questions: does his relationship status already say "Single"? Or is it not even listed? Some people don't even believe in putting their relationship status on Facebook because if he is a private person in general, he might not want other people in his business. That's not to say he is ashamed of you. If you guys are doing regular couple things, he’s giving you all of his attention, and you trust him other than this Facebook dilemma, then he probably has a good reason to not post it. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You need to ask yourself if you are secure enough in your relationship to be okay with him not putting it up. Maybe you can both change your statuses to not list anything. If this is something you are adamant about then maybe you should let him know it's important to you and why - see if he changes his mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talking this through with him will allow you get clarity on the situation rather than be paranoid to the different reasons why he doesn’t want to.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In the end, everyone needs to really think about how much they let their “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Online-Dating-Profile-ebook/dp/B004KAAW54?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">online profile</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B004KAAW54" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />” define them in the long-run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Facebook should not be a reason to cause conflict in your relationship since it is not a clear and accurate representation of who you are or who have relationships with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having such “Digital Drama” will only cause more strain on your relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are good as is, don’t bring in this unnecessary drama!</span></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com89tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-89075719128297194392011-03-19T23:14:00.000-07:002011-03-21T11:43:23.363-07:00How do I know if she likes me? 10 signs she's into you...<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="274" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wkMa7gIcnCM?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="325"></iframe></div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Does she have a crush on you?</span></span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><u><b>Question:</b></u> <i>I've been hanging out with this girl who I like, I just don't know if she likes me back. I've known her for a couple of months and we're good friends, there is definitely flirting going on between us and I feel like there is great chemistry. But the other day I saw her talking to other friend of hers (who is a guy) and she was also flirting with him. Is this just her personality or am I reading too much into it? How do I know if a girl likes me back? (Boston, MA)</i></span> <br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<u><b>Social Shrink:</b></u> OH, the great, big question: does she like me? The only way to know for sure if someone likes you is if you ask them. Easier said than done, right? Well, before you go ahead and ask how she feels about you, here are some signs you might want to look for to determine whether or not you should even ask:</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><ol style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>She is finding small excuses to get close to you. </b></u></span>When it's cold outside, does she brush up against you and blame the weather? Does she grab your arm as you are talking to her? Does she dance up against you when even a bad song comes on in the clubs?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>She laughs at everything you say, even the stupidest jokes.</u></b></span> She really doesn't care what you are saying, she is just laughing because she is infatuated with you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Your reputation precedes you.</u></b></span> When she introduces you to her friends, they already know who you are because she already talked about you. Her friends might not want to embarrass her so look for signs like them looking and talking about you, or their eagerness to get to know you.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>She is always looking for you.</u></b></span> When you guys are out at the clubs, is she always looking around the crowd to find you? Or tries to get you to go to the bar with her to get a drink? Then wants you to go with her to the dance floor? </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>She gets jealous when you talk to other girls.</u></b></span> When you just have a conversation with another girl, she asks you who you were talking to and how you know her. Especially if she comments on the other girl's looks, i.e. ,she asks why you are talking to grenades. </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>She teases you.</b></u></span> No, this doesn't only happen on the playground. No matter what age, a girl will find ways to make fun of you to show her interest. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>She acts like she isn't waiting for your calls/texts/chats.</u></b></span> You know she is on her phone 24/7 or chatting away with her friends but she takes the time to answer you back. She doesn't want to seem desperate and wants to think about her answers before responding to you.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><u><b><span style="font-size: large;">She remembers the little things about you.</span></b></u> She remembers when you guys first met, your hobbies, your iPod playlist, how you like your coffee. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>She shows up where you are at.</b></u></span> If she knows you frequent the same places, she may "accidentally" bump into you there, though you know it's way out of her way. </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>She shares personal stories with you.</u></b></span> Girls like to have a connection with the guy they like and so they will share something personal to get closer to you. </span></li>
</ol><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Of course, she doesn't have to follow all of these for you to determine whether or not she likes you. Go with your gut instincts. If you feel like she is flirting with you and can sense the chemistry, then most likely she has feelings for you, too. Pay attention to her body language and how she acts around you in a social setting. But, again, the only sure way to find out is to ask her directly!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com53tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-4798434519473323942011-03-19T03:15:00.000-07:002011-03-20T20:57:25.421-07:00Are we dating?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM5nUkKHWj4xKOYcdUyVVzXLH71ksZIc8THdtXYF_-OE2kBAyMm8YqMBV66Z1-pQFKJ9f6rWb0SBeemQZRC4quZlwBIRSWpsqyAExPlPqiZ9AkK-h_hHlLAspdp1Y5iEsvWtZjNj4pGHGd/s1600/heather-kissing-dustin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM5nUkKHWj4xKOYcdUyVVzXLH71ksZIc8THdtXYF_-OE2kBAyMm8YqMBV66Z1-pQFKJ9f6rWb0SBeemQZRC4quZlwBIRSWpsqyAExPlPqiZ9AkK-h_hHlLAspdp1Y5iEsvWtZjNj4pGHGd/s320/heather-kissing-dustin.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://unitedmonkee.com/2011/03/16/real-world-watcher-las-vegas-episode-1-welcome-to-las-vegas/"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">[don't be like Dustin and Heather]</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u><b>Question:</b></u><i> I've been talking/seeing this girl for the past few weeks. We send each other texts throughout the day and always chat online, and we've hung out a few times. All my friends are asking me what we are, like is she my girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc. I'm not really sure what to tell them. I really like her but because of our busy schedules, it's hard to meet up. The other night, I met another girl, who seemed interested in me. She asked me if I was dating anyone and I wasn't sure what to say. I would ask this girl out if it's okay with the first girl I've been talking to, but I'm not even sure if we are dating. What should I do? (Las Vegas, NV)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br />
<em><a name='more'></a></em><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b><u>Social Shrink:</u></b> Take Dustin and Heather's example in MTV's current season of Real World: Las Vegas. They made out a couple of times and Dustin developed feelings for her. When Heather was dared to make-out with their roommate, Mike, Dustin was livid. But why was Dustin so upset? They only made out a couple of times and barely know each other. Are they dating because they hooked up and Dustin has feeling for Heather? Did Heather break the rules of dating by making out with Mike?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Dating is hard to define and there can be many different stages. If you've been talking to this girl non-stop for the past couple of weeks, you guys likely have a mutual attraction and interest in each other. If you don't want to ask her, then ask yourself if this girl is potential to be in a relationship with you. Generally, if you are talking to her, seeing her and you want to see where things lead, then you guys are dating.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Since this other girl came along, it's definitely up to you whether or not you want to ask her out. Even if you two are dating, that might not mean you guys are exclusive. But before you do, make sure you look at the situation if it were reversed. If she went on a date with another guy, would you be upset or disappointed? Would you think she doesn't like you back because she is seeing other guys? Just because you guys haven't defined what you are, doesn't mean both girls shouldn't be treated with respect. If you do go on a dates with the other girl you met, it's best to be upfront with both and let them both know you are seeing someone else but that is non-exclusive. Not everyone goes by the rule, "don't hate the game, hate the player;" you should treat others how you want to be treated.</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-25468342829209964472011-03-16T15:03:00.000-07:002011-03-21T11:42:53.908-07:007 simple rules for your first date<div style="text-align: justify;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.realbollywood.com/news/up_images/first-date10015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtjUb8Lb_YuyitR0pd08N7ocDmWOBtN0lvfo9S-QKpO293XLwuTrOEAIylat4cBsfWU3lcmYk3UcnUWKO5cIix5SE3C7nsXhf7c6Q0co2vR_QvW2fi7jHydodQ0Oc_80KJ2eZEh6qHrtqo/s320/first-date10015.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.realbollywood.com/news/up_images/first-date10015.jpg">Make sure your first date leads to romance!</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I went on a first date with this guy the other night. I thought it went great but when I told my friends about it, they were very skeptical. They were coming up with all these "first date" rules about how he should have paid for everything, opened doors for me, walked to my apartment door and come get me, etc. I feel like all that stuff is too old fashioned and not sure if I agree with these "rules." What do you think? (Santa Monica, CA)</i></span></span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> Although we don't always agree with "rules" of the dating game, especially when it comes to first dates, there are certain things you might want to look for in a guy. Of course, this can differ for each person and situation. The first date is very important because it will leave a long lasting impression. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Here are some general rules we like to follow when it comes to a first date:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></span></div><ol><li><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: large;">He should cater towards you suggestions for the first date.</span></u></b> When planning a first date with a guy, give your input and hear his. You can tell he is a nice guy if he caters more towards your suggestions than what he wants to do. If he pressures you into only doing what he wants, then let him know he can attend this date - without you.</span></span></div></li>
<li><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>The guy should pay for dinner.</u></span></b> Even if you make more than him or if you are the unconventional type, at least let him pay for dinner. You can offer to pay for drinks or an activity (i.e. movie) after. A guy that is willing to pay for dinner shows he wants to take YOU out.</span></span></div></li>
<li><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: large;">Make sure there is no talk about an ex.</span></u></b> If he starts talking about an ex-gf, let him know that you could care less about his ex!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He should be there focused on you, not digging up little tidbits or past experiences about her.</span></span></div></li>
<li><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Which brings us to our next rule: <span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>Make sure he is paying attention to YOU.</u></strong></span> If he is constantly on his phone texting, calling, playing games, etc. then he is being rude and making things very uncomfortable for you.</span></span></div></li>
<li><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: large;">Make sure he's not too needy.</span></u></b> If he expects you to do everything, or cater to his every need on the first date, imagine what would happen if you guys had a relationship together?</span></span></div></li>
<li><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Make sure he isn't too touchy-feely.</u></span></b> He doesn't know you or what your boundaries are; he shouldn't even attempt to cross them unless you give him the signal.</span></span></div></li>
<li><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: large;">Pay attention at the end of the night when you two depart.</span></u></b> Does he give you a hug goodbye? A goodnight kiss? Try to make out with you? Try to take you home? These are some things to look for and if anything doesn't match how the date went (i.e., really great chemistry during the date and he just gives you a handshake at the end of the night, or really awkward silence during dinner then he tries to take you home) then he's not reading your signals and probably is not a good match for you.</span></span></div></li>
</ol><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Despite everything, you said the date went great and enjoyed his company. So even if your friends don't believe he followed their "rules," you have to decide for yourself. While your friends are just looking out for you, you were the one that went on the date and should know how well it went. Go with your gut feeling about this guy. Though first dates are your first impression of a potential significant other, if things don't go well, it's completely your choice to give him another chance. Just make sure you aren't giving too many.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong><u>Did we miss out on any other ‘rules’?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Share any additions and thoughts in our comments section!</u></strong></span></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-64414114673230765172011-03-15T10:47:00.000-07:002011-03-16T15:03:28.139-07:00My new boyfriend is suffocating me! Is he a Stage Five Clinger?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguYZ61aEi04XdY3cs1IvOFUMMuainv_QLPY5XdtPMP8pENGrloCUjodVtI7nQ1gVAwXJ5pWBT5PuLQoQBRwbgCTD8a5IJGfZC6OyM7H5fQ5jArsNN-dp_BhSnKS7t5jDa1Mrxcnqkjty15/s1600/daniellestalker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="282" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguYZ61aEi04XdY3cs1IvOFUMMuainv_QLPY5XdtPMP8pENGrloCUjodVtI7nQ1gVAwXJ5pWBT5PuLQoQBRwbgCTD8a5IJGfZC6OyM7H5fQ5jArsNN-dp_BhSnKS7t5jDa1Mrxcnqkjty15/s400/daniellestalker.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/daniellestalker.jpg"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"Stop stalking my life!"</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I've been on a few dates with this guy and I really like him. The only problem is: I need some space. When we go out to dinner or to bars, he is all over me… and I mean ALL over me. Like, he will wrap his arms around me and not let me go. I'm not going anywhere so I don't know why he needs to be like that with me. We're not even officially together (though I'm not dating anyone else) but he acts like we are. How do I let him know I want a little more space without him thinking I don't want to see him anymore? (New Orleans, LA)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ALERT! ALERT!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>STAGE FIVE CLINGER!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just kidding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But on ‘<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jersey-Shore-Season-One-Uncensored/dp/B003IB0FUS?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Jersey Shore</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B003IB0FUS" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />,’ when Pauly D’s stalker was ‘stalking his life,’ that was a big red flag for him when she constantly needed to be with Pauly D, needing to know where he was, and clinging on to him like a needy girlfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> We hope this isn't early signs of this type of behavior! </span>This is obviously an extreme example and your case may be different since you like the guy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">It's always awkward when you first start dating someone. You don't know how to act - whether or not you should hold hands, hug, kiss, etc. He probably doesn't know how to act around you but wants to show how into you he is. He may be insecure about the relationship as well since you guys have not yet established what you are. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">By putting his arms around you, he is showing the world that you are his - even though you are not officially all his quite yet. Since you do like him, you may probably scare him off by letting him know you want space. Set small boundaries with him without having a conversation about it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">For example, the next time you guys are out together, make sure there is space between you two. You can still show him little signs of affection like holding his hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But once those arms wrap around you and don't let go, it's up to you to move away. Do it slowly, so he doesn't think you are scared away by his affection. Instead, show him a small sign of affection like grabbing his hand again to hold it. Eventually, he'll get the drift and understand that you don't like the extreme PDA. Once your relationship is more established and he feels more secure in it, he won't feel like he has to be all over you. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If it continues to bother you and he doesn’t get the hint, this might be a sign that he’s a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Chronicles-Stage-Clinger-Jason-Mitchell/dp/1934937614?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Stage Five Clinger</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1934937614" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /> or overbearing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he always needs to have his arms around you, he may be territorial and possessive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does he make it a point of showing affection when other guys are around?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is he super clingy that he needs to be by your side and gets anxious when you're not around? That can be annoying and can be early signs of his territorial personality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that’s the case, set him straight ASAP before things get too OOC (out of control)! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">When you set the precedent and are upfront with him about what you like versus dislike when it comes to PDA, this will make it very clear to him what will set you off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you never say anything and let him suffocate you, that is your fault for not setting boundaries from the get go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tell him now what you expect and see if he follows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he doesn’t and insists he needs to have his arms around you 24/7… that’s just annoying and you need to find someone who is NOT a clinger! Good luck!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-49344867111532955642011-03-14T13:25:00.000-07:002011-03-15T10:58:01.153-07:00What college majors will make me the most money after I graduate?<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.payscale.com/best-colleges/degrees.asp" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Best Undergrad College Degrees By Salary</em></span></a></div><table><tbody>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.payscale.com/best-colleges/degrees.asp" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Degrees" height="320" src="http://www.payscale.com/staticdatachart.aspx?mode=Chart&dataset=Pay You Back.2010&title=Best Undergrad College Degrees By Salary" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Methodology</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Annual pay for Bachelors graduates without higher degrees. Typical starting graduates have 2 years of experience; mid-career have 15 years. See </span></span><a href="http://www.payscale.com/best-colleges/salary-report.asp"><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">full methodology</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> for more.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"></div></td><td style="vertical-align: top;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m a senior in high school and I just got accepted into a few schools and I’m so excited to start college!!! I’m researching different majors and I’m still deciding what to choose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m debating on whether I should major in something that will earn me lots of money after I graduate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are some majors that guarantee big $$$?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Washington, DC)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Congrats on getting accepted in college!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get ready for some of the best years of your life!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course that means studying and choosing a major, so it’s great that you are thinking ahead and weighing your options.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">According to <a href="http://payscale.com/">Payscale.com</a>, it looks like the majors with the top earning potential after graduation involve engineering, physics, math and economics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Petrolium engineering has a starting median pay at $93,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other starting salaries include: Applied mathematics ($56,400), Physics ($50,700), and Economics ($48,800).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">On the other end of the spectrum, majors involving art, social work and history are at the lower end (see graph above).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some starting salaries for these majors include Social Work ($31,800), Art ($33,500), and Humanities ($38,600).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If you’re leaning more towards the liberal arts side – DON’T LOSE HOPE!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because it’s not WHAT you major in, but WHAT YOU DO with your major that is important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just because you major in Applied Mathematics does not guarantee that you will get a cushion-y job crunching numbers and making tons of dough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also doesn’t mean that if you major in Social Sciences that you will be eating Ramen for the rest of your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you apply your major in a variety of jobs, your earning potential is limitless if you have the right work ethic, discipline and perseverance to maximize your career growth in any job.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Let’s also not forget that once you get your Bachelor’s, there is always Graduate School.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think of college as a time to really dive in to many different classes and experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a time where you will grown and learn what you are truly passionate about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have four years to take art, math, learn a new language, take a theology class on about a new religion, learn the history of a country, or to take a music class to learn how to play the piano.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Soak this time up!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Don’t take college so seriously that you have to feel like you have a formulated outline of classes you must take to achieve a certain criteria.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Similarly, don’t major in something that you THINK will make you rich, but that you feel moderately passionate about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Major in what excites you, that will get you up out of bed for your 9 am class, and will make you eager to get to the library and dive into your textbook.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Good luck in college and live it up!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will have no regrets if you find a major that truly represents what you’re passionate about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once you do that, the money will follow.</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-82575740699441233802011-03-11T15:55:00.000-08:002011-03-14T13:35:36.926-07:00How old is too old to go clubbing and partying?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDlndZeHpOU2rBN66Z8i9i89h_PaopEIrSUd2yWcwIkGB77i9XavXKgVwdst50qDU7mcv5wxHKs_jF6EzZarWFS6S3YkEl0-P8mtBHqgvYoJl0zxuk4kP3_RMx_0IF12AX0fTxrXWFiUT/s1600/old+school.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDlndZeHpOU2rBN66Z8i9i89h_PaopEIrSUd2yWcwIkGB77i9XavXKgVwdst50qDU7mcv5wxHKs_jF6EzZarWFS6S3YkEl0-P8mtBHqgvYoJl0zxuk4kP3_RMx_0IF12AX0fTxrXWFiUT/s400/old+school.jpg" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzEmxzUJyMYaPJEWtyddc4m-7YcmsjMvMqtHf62OaAbD-lR1QkeZLCOHpzE8Thvy4fWLRvVKkrSfy_gwqp9GaDfdLM2VxMKjLkz_F2Cva2ACvOpBaV8IW_6KRkuBMX4CWuVzLR8xmGRdQg/s1600/old+school.jpg">Beer pong as a 40 year old anyone?</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I'm a 32 year old guy and lately I've noticed I've been going out to bars/clubs more than my friends that are my age. Some of my friends are married or have kids, and those that aren't don't like going out and drinking. I don't go out every weekend or go out and get ish-faced like my college days. I usually go out with friends that are a few years younger than me and just like to go out and have a good time. However, when I do go out to the bars, I've noticed the crowd getting younger and younger (either that, or I'm just getting older). Is it sad that I'm going out to the bars at this age?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How old is too old? (Las Vegas, NV)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> How old is too old? Well, that depends. If you're going out because you enjoy hanging out with your friends, then you're never too old for that! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">I'm sure your friends know your age and if they are okay with grabbing drinks at a bar/lounge/club with you then all the better for you! How is the rest of your life going? Are you working/looking for work or doing something productive with the rest of your time? Or, are you living at home and off of your parents? You say you partied in you college days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just as long as you're not returning to those same frat parties at this age or hitting on the 17 or 18 year old freshmen girls while you’re 32, you are still young and can have fun.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">When it comes to what you do when you’re out at the bars and clubs, we hope you are not one of the sketchy guys who creeps up on girls no matter what their age, asking for their phone numbers right off the bat, or are trying to get newly-turned 21 year olds drunk enough to go home with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is inappropriate no matter what age you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you keep it classy and talk to girls here and there, take a few shots with your friends, and dance a bit to your favorite songs - that is harmless and you shouldn’t feel worried about that. 32 does not come with a set of ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’ when you’re out having fun – just keep the keg stands and urges to play flip cup where it belongs: in your memories of your college days. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If all you do during the day is wake up hung-over in your parents' basement, asking your parents for an allowance, or waking up next to a girl that you don’t remember going home with, then you should probably pause, take a step back, reassess your situation, and concentrate on something other than the partying.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If you are established (as in you have a job, supporting yourself, have place to live, etc.), then going out to hang out with friends at a lounge, bar or club is a good release after a long week – you deserve it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are working hard and playing hard and that is something everyone should live by at any age.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Eventually, you will grow out of this partying phase but why not live it up while you can.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">As the great <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Blueprint-Jay-Z/dp/B00005O54T?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Jay-Z</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B00005O54T" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /> once said, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>"30 is the new 20!"</u></b></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-85424352309319449292011-03-10T14:43:00.000-08:002011-03-10T14:53:17.004-08:00Top 10 songs about family!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYrB6EdlKJw_AcvKNU_mgAk62nAkXNhgWA8issAT2kqqZtyNfcTohctzF2WRXpW053vk8yQX7iXCeJHQE1PZ3MQYP69ux_pPq3otSQLKoU20EWONS9o7LbhXABKvZvQRv45oLUCf11xyqs/s1600/207981.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYrB6EdlKJw_AcvKNU_mgAk62nAkXNhgWA8issAT2kqqZtyNfcTohctzF2WRXpW053vk8yQX7iXCeJHQE1PZ3MQYP69ux_pPq3otSQLKoU20EWONS9o7LbhXABKvZvQRv45oLUCf11xyqs/s320/207981.jpg" width="250" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://media.lunch.com/d/d7/207981.jpg%3F2&imgrefurl=http://www.lunch.com/Reviews/tv_show/Family_Ties_TV_show_-Photos-1010424-Family_Ties_Cast_photo-207981.html%3Fpid%3D0&usg=__3FYKSX5Iya1_PPWAQQPg5sgI4Ns=&h=375&w=294&sz=34&hl=en&start=5&sig2=0CCD8WOzSbsAsCqCvhVC0A&zoom=1&tbnid=PBrSfPbxTSNUtM:&tbnh=122&tbnw=96&ei=Y1N5TefbLaWY0QHUl7zeAw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfamily%2Btv%2Bsitcom%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D911%26bih%3D593%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1">It's all about family!</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><em>I’m planning a big family reunion next month and I’m in charge of putting together a family slideshow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m wondering what are some good songs about family that I can play in the background? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Jacksonville, FL)</em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This calls for a top ten list!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve compiled some of our top favorite songs about family or family members (i.e. fathers, mothers, etc.).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check out our picks and let us know if you have any others we’re missing!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">10.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>Sister Sledge</strong> – We are Family</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">9.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>Boyz II Men</strong> – A Song for Mama</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">8.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>Luther Vandross</strong> – Dance with my Father</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">7.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>The Temptations</strong> – Lean On Me<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">6.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>Bob Carlisle</strong> – Butterfly Kisses</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">5.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>The O’Jays</strong> – Family Reunion</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">4.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>Louis Armstrong</strong> – What a Wonderful World</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">3.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>Michael Jackson</strong> – I’ll Be There</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">2.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>The Pretenders</strong> – I’ll Stand By You</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">And the number one family song...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">1.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><strong>Bill Withers</strong> – Lean On Me</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="330" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HaVXfHZv50Y" title="YouTube video player" width="400"></iframe></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-46734912891577509352011-03-08T09:24:00.000-08:002011-03-10T14:52:09.897-08:00My friend's boyfriend always puts her down. Is there anything I can do?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbPq9o-OA3ssojnR1T69oKBPvmcVoKu3GubKJSXvxIYOYNKMgpv3357QVuPGr1TaF6TWIxumVKVwgFB6taeFFQI0ba96YhNbP0FH9lFjnDtw_mFBcO9MG0QpGvZjD9iZgOPoVK7zJBhjr8/s1600/couple_fighting_scl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbPq9o-OA3ssojnR1T69oKBPvmcVoKu3GubKJSXvxIYOYNKMgpv3357QVuPGr1TaF6TWIxumVKVwgFB6taeFFQI0ba96YhNbP0FH9lFjnDtw_mFBcO9MG0QpGvZjD9iZgOPoVK7zJBhjr8/s1600/couple_fighting_scl.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.enddomesticabuse.org/emotional_verbal_abuse.php">Don't tolerate verbal abuse!</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I have a friend who goes to my high school and she's been going out with her boyfriend for a few months now. This guy is known for his sarcasm and rude behavior, but now he’s acting that way with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time I see them together, he’s calling her names and making fun of her at her expense. What's worse is that she laughs it off and clings to him even more. I tried to talk to her about it but she told me he’s just joking around and I don't understand his humor. He isn't abusive or anything to her but I just don't like the way he talks to her. How can I get her to realize this is wrong? (Sacramento, CA)</i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When your friend’s boyfriend is putting her down, calling her names, or making fun of her, he’s using her as an easy target.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact that she laughs it off and allows this type of treatment is definitely worrisome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m glad that you are looking out for your friend and wondering how you can help.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">First things first – let’s understand <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">why</i> this guy is acting the way he is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is using his girlfriend to prop himself up at her expense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each time he’s rude or sarcastic to his girlfriend, and she does nothing about it, he feels like it is okay and that it’s nothing at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>THAT IS WRONG.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s clear that the boyfriend is insecure to some degree; otherwise he wouldn’t feel the need to belittle his girlfriend to make himself look funny or better than her.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Abuse is abuse no matter what form it is. Even though physical abuse is not involved, it seems your friend's boyfriend is verbally abusive. This is definitely a sign that the relationship could lead to something worse. It's best to get your friend to realize this now before it gets too late.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Unfortunately, she won't break up with him until she is ready. Sit your friend down and let her know that you see all the time the things he says to her and how disrespectful it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give her specific examples of times you see her boyfriend outright disrespect her with rude remarks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she laughs it off, tell her it’s not funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You need to open your friend’s eyes so that she can see the situation as a whole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask her, “If my boyfriend was acting this way to me, would you allow it?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turn the tables so that she can see the situation as an outsider and ask her if she would react the same way.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">It will take time before your friend realizes that this behavior is unacceptable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s important to keep an open dialogue with her and to wave a red flag each time you hear her boyfriend say something inappropriate or rude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more you flag this type of behavior, the more cognizant your friend will be to react accordingly.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">As a side note – if your friend won’t dish it back to her boyfriend, that doesn’t hold you back from doing so!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give him a piece of his own medicine and let’s see how he reacts! Turn the tables and let’s see how he feels being belittled or demeaned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he reacts negatively, let him know that he does the exact same thing to his girlfriend – the last person on Earth he should be treating like that.</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-70361954507784068472011-03-04T12:22:00.000-08:002011-03-08T09:45:28.350-08:00My boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMmQh7PM9MWCBN7NE_j1mrf6O6vdXFUGJcTyEyKjrHzFZrQ5uRgBcAv1WURnZqAG7EnDdItv4hg5A6oD0Nm1m9-WXspGXd-7YygP4SAhhmOYbIZLSm2cXdvqiIpp_qxEOjqYEkQfb9WzK1/s1600/90210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMmQh7PM9MWCBN7NE_j1mrf6O6vdXFUGJcTyEyKjrHzFZrQ5uRgBcAv1WURnZqAG7EnDdItv4hg5A6oD0Nm1m9-WXspGXd-7YygP4SAhhmOYbIZLSm2cXdvqiIpp_qxEOjqYEkQfb9WzK1/s400/90210.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">90210 - Donna didn't sleep with David until she felt it was the right time... 7 years later in their relationship!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m a Sophomore in high school and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s the second serious boyfriend and recently he’s been pressuring me to have sex with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve made out a few times and recently, he’s been wanting more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I definitely don’t want to have sex with him yet, but he keeps being pushy about it and that’s making me not want to even more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told my friends about it and they made me paranoid that he might break up with me because I won’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What should I do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want to lose him… (Columbus, OH)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If you actually think your boyfriend would break up with you because you don’t want to have sex with him, then boot his @$$ to the curb before he has the chance to break up himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously – do you want to be in a relationship that is based on whether or not you sleep with him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s manipulating and guilt-tripping you – set him straight!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">On 90210, David and Donna were high school sweethearts. Donna didn't want to sleep with David until the time was right... and he was patient and understood. After some ups and downs in their relationship, Donna ended up sleeping with David once she felt the time was right and she knew she was in love. In the end, these two ended up getting married! Here's one example from TV where you can actually model your life after - don't do anything you don't feel ready for. You will know when the time is right!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">This is a clear-cut answer: if you don’t want to have sex with him, then DON’T!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t let the pressures from the your boyfriend, your friends, or society determine what you want to do with your body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you don’t feel like the time is right, don’t feel comfortable, or just don’t want to do it all, then you have the right to feel that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">As a general rule, you should never feel like you are obligated to do stuff for other people because they put pressure on you to do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That takes away from your self-worth and freedom to be independent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other people shouldn’t dictate your life, what you do with your body, and the decisions you make – only you do!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Sex should be taken seriously and shouldn’t be used as a way to keep someone in a relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If your boyfriend is telling you he’s going to bolt if you don’t give it up, then we say you say “ADIOS” to this loser and let the door hit him on the way out!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-35218462107019241572011-02-28T12:05:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:34:57.479-08:00Whose side do I choose - my best friend or my boyfriend?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsAmqcWEXUQlxFj8elqq68oKiuclkGFPlv_GqPUXWF8uufW5noq-QPk5Tb7avRdQ6mum7qkCCUV8qLrX5LKJo22q-mHRXtc4SBtUeN4RykWnJdMLxEUfaaHJ-9EC8paR2NmVfHfj1RN3by/s1600/chelsea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="268" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsAmqcWEXUQlxFj8elqq68oKiuclkGFPlv_GqPUXWF8uufW5noq-QPk5Tb7avRdQ6mum7qkCCUV8qLrX5LKJo22q-mHRXtc4SBtUeN4RykWnJdMLxEUfaaHJ-9EC8paR2NmVfHfj1RN3by/s400/chelsea.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mtv.com/">[Source]</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I have been going out with my boyfriend for a few months and we fight just like any couple. I always turn to my best friend (who’s also my roommate) for advice, and now she's grown this hatred for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s so bad, my friend and boyfriend can't be in the same room together. Now, my friend will snap at him at everything he says and then my boyfriend will argue back. It’s gotten so bad, my best friend has threatened to move out because my boyfriend is always around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't stand it! I feel like I have to choose between the two of them. How can I handle this without choosing one or the other? (Scottsdale, AZ)</i></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Social Shrink:</u></b> If “</span><a href="http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/tag/teen-mom-2s-chelsea/"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Teen Mom 2</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">” teaches us anything, it’s that when things get really bad when living with your best friend – she’ll move out!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look at Chelsea’s case… that didn’t end well!</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You should never feel like you have to choose between your friends or your boyfriend. You should think of the reasons why your best friend does not like your boyfriend. Has he treated you really bad in the past? Your friend is probably just looking out for you. While you are right - all couples fight - it does depend on what you are fighting about and if the fighting is constant. That might be a sign that you<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>guys are in an unhealthy relationship. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">When you do turn to your friend for advice, she’s going to lose trust and faith in your boyfriend by hearing all these things he’s doing to you. You can't expect her to forgive him - even though you do, because she is not in your relationship. She only hears the bad things he's done. In the future, try not to turn to your friend so much on relationship advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe spread it out amongst other friends or talk to a therapist. True, friends should be there for you whenever you need them, but, remember, they have their own stress and problems – especially if you seek advice from them often. When your relationship drama becomes a regular occurrence, it's a lot to burden your friend with your daily quarrels.<br />
<br />
Since you live with your best friend, the situation is that much more elevated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your friend shouldn’t have to go to drastic measures by moving out, so you need to do your part in the scenario.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should have a talk with both your friend and boyfriend together in the same room. Let them both know you value the relationship you have and you want to make it work for the three of you. Compromise by going over your boyfriend’s place more often so he’s not always lingering around your apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set boundaries so that your friend doesn’t feel like her space is being encroached.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your boyfriend and best friend don't have to be the best of friends, but they need to learn to at least tolerate each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">In the end, here are recommended steps to help ease the tension between your friend and boyfriend: (1) stop sharing your boyfriend drama with your best friend – you two live with each other, you’re each other’s best friends, and you get enough of each other as it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a different friend to seek relationship advice and give your best friend a break.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(2) Go to your boyfriend’s place more often so that your boyfriend and best friend aren’t always stepping on each other’s toes. (3) Lastly, work on your relationship with your boyfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re having that much drama that you always need to go to your friend to vent or seek advice, maybe it’s you that’s creating all of this turmoil!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop the drama or give your boyfriend the boot!!!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-56663417916507308772011-02-22T16:08:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:35:39.896-08:00All my friends are prettier than me...<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Z4a8QtvOkBQ" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Take Ms. Gaga's advice - Lady Gaga - "Born This Way"</strong></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Recently, I've noticed all of my friends have been getting hit on when we go out to clubs - except me! It seems whenever we go to a bar/club, they are all talking to guys the whole time. I feel like no guys notice me. I'm not sure if it's just me but I feel like I don’t have sex appeal =( I know this might be my own insecurity but I can't help wonder why I don't get the same attention. Can you offer any advice? (Irvine, CA)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You want to know what is sexy? Confidence is sexy. Holding a conversation is hot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having that eye contact that tells the other person that you know who you are and what you want is extremely appealing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can be the most gorgeous girl in the room – but if you walk around hunched over and unsure of yourself, looking paranoid and insecure, then that is a big turn-off!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">In your situation, if guys don't pay attention to you at a bar, then that's their loss. Since when does having a guy approach you at a bar validate your ‘hotness’ level?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reassess the situation and look at what you are assuming about yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now throw all of those assumptions OUT THE WINDOW, and snap out of it!!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">As Lady Gaga said, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">"<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Born-This-Way-Lady-Gaga/dp/B004N62KTG?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you're set</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B004N62KTG" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />."</b> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Going out with your friends shouldn't be stressful, it should be to go out and have fun! So don't worry about who is hitting on who or how many guys ask for your phone number.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be confident that you look great, have an amazing group of friends, and don’t need any guy to validate your self-worth.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Once you are able to love yourself for you and exude that killer confidence to the world, that is when you will be able to find someone who loves you for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, nobody said that you HAVE to meet a guy at a bar or club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How about a coffee shop? Through friends?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A cocktail party at a friend’s place?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bars and clubs actually are the most sketchiest to meet someone, so… that sucks for your friends who are finding guys there.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Moral of the story – no one is prettier than you: not your friends, not the girl walking by you, no one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because no one can compare to you at any level – you are <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>you</u></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Know that you deserve the very best and one day you will find the right guy for you who appreciates you as the unique and beautiful individual that you are - no matter where the place you meet.</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-47171742603841522542011-02-17T10:31:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:36:09.981-08:00My boyfriend disappointed me on Valentine's Day :(<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUweHixWu9KXYQNMV3fT-_Aa_HqF1Ix5kJcFDRNDPeZxOtGvvReU4YNhzmdQss_HI9KYY6f5l1QkjdfPZ29W-YUG5R-0Y32aesSe_PwH0lJToaNu678DhjCXd6xBNy30Khw7KoeLV0p_4R/s1600/SamOneOnly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUweHixWu9KXYQNMV3fT-_Aa_HqF1Ix5kJcFDRNDPeZxOtGvvReU4YNhzmdQss_HI9KYY6f5l1QkjdfPZ29W-YUG5R-0Y32aesSe_PwH0lJToaNu678DhjCXd6xBNy30Khw7KoeLV0p_4R/s320/SamOneOnly.jpg" width="246" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a few months. Things have been going okay between us, he's fun to hang out with but I'm not sure if I want a future with him. In the week leading up to Valentine's Day, he kept talking about how he would take me out or buy me flowers, etc. I told him he didn't have to take me out. When he kept asking what I wanted to Valentine's Day, I told him I didn't want anything so he could surprise me. Finally, when Valentine's Day came, he didn't do anything! I was completely shocked! I was expecting so much more. I know this is just a stupid holiday, but am I overreacting? I don't know how to approach this with him or if I should break up with him. Help! (Atlanta, GA)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> You're right, it is just a stupid holiday. Though this is just one “Hallmark Holiday,” it does say something about your boyfriend and your relationship. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">There are two sides to this dilemma. First, look at it from your boyfriend's perspective. That could just be it - he's <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>guy. He is innately unromantic, lacks creativity and will do what he can to get out of planning dates. When you didn't tell him what you wanted, he most likely thought he was off the hook. He probably talked a good game to see your reaction. If you told him you don't care about Valentine's Day, he was probably jumping with joy on the inside! Since you didn't make it a big deal, he didn't make it a big deal. No biggie, right? Well, if it might be a biggie, let's <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>take another look at the situation. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Does he do this often? Is he all talk and no show? If so, then you will constantly be expecting more and not receiving anything. If he acts like this for Valentine's Day, is he going to do the same for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, your birthday? Bottom line is that if you are disappointed multiple times, are you okay with that? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mistake you are making is that you constantly expect more of him but yet you always keep it inside. You need to take partial blame in this situation since you shouldn’t have to ‘hint’ around that you’d like for him to do something for Valentine’s Day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tell it like it is!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop playing games!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">You should ask yourself: if he did put more thought into it, would you still like him? If you say yes, then we would suggest you let him know how you feel. Tell him why you expected more. If you’re still thinking that you don’t think there’s a future with him, then you need a new Valentine!!!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-53837462069382963122011-02-16T14:57:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:36:43.014-08:00Who's got BIEBER FEVER??? My damn roommate! It's driving me bonkers!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkADd4nuqbpmK24Oi_662vUVofBTHKiXYGtWsmedfwbw6ax66MP__yQbjsKZsuTYr5Wbi-bqEPVGMol4hF7r9yZ9mCft5INePsSiqaMf7vJ1R5ninP_JqLwu-O4ZP-0BCdF-vhLJLqta3U/s1600/2979.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="246" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkADd4nuqbpmK24Oi_662vUVofBTHKiXYGtWsmedfwbw6ax66MP__yQbjsKZsuTYr5Wbi-bqEPVGMol4hF7r9yZ9mCft5INePsSiqaMf7vJ1R5ninP_JqLwu-O4ZP-0BCdF-vhLJLqta3U/s400/2979.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"I know you love me! I know you care!"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m a college freshman and I share my dorm with a girl who is OBSESSED with Justin Bieber.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s out of control – Justin Bieber posters (all over her side of the wall), Justin sheets and bedding, the wallpaper on her computer… Justin’s face!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The music she plays 24/7? JUSTIN! She even wears Justin Bieber socks… like, WTF? We are 19 years old! Every time my friends come to my room I always have to tell them that none of the Justin Bieber stuff is mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SO embarrassing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to request a new room to live in because it’s just so annoying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I overacting? (Edmonton, Canada)</i></span></div><a name='more'></a><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looks like someone has got BIEBER FEVER!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bet your roommate was one of the first in line to go see his new movie, “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Never-Say-Remixes-Justin-Bieber/dp/B004L6218S?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Never Say Never</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B004L6218S" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />” too, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She definitely seems like a huge fan!</span> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Your question made us laugh because there are tons of teenage girls (and perhaps boys) all over the world who are the exact same way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only problem is that you have to have it in your face every day since you live with her (and in the same room, nonetheless).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can see why it would get to you and she does seem to be a bit excessive in her celeb crush (Justin Bieber socks?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?), but is it really doing anything more than just getting on your nerves?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Everyone who lives with a college roommate will have to adjust to the quirks the other person has.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it’s not a Justin Bieber obsession, there will be something else you will get annoyed or frustrated with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The good thing for you is that you have a ton of options to get a breather from the Bieber Fever – go study at the library, go hang out in your friend’s dorm rooms, or go to the dining hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will only be up in your face if you let it be up in your face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Another important thing to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>note – it could be A LOT WORSE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if your roommate was psychotic, had her boyfriend over all of the time, made a complete mess, had bad body odor… the list goes on!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being a huge Justin Bieber fan is by far the lesser of many other possible evils.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Our recommendation – smile and shrug off your roomie’s love for the Beebs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Indulge her a bit and let her listen to his album while the two of you hang out in your room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can’t be THAT bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before you know it, your school year will be over and it will be summertime where you will be moving out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So suck it up for a few more months, give your roommate a break, and just let it go… you never know, you might catch the fever, too!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/My-World-2-0/dp/B003BYYDXW?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">BABY, BABY, BABY… OH</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B003BYYDXW" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />!</span></div><div align="justify" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="269" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kffacxfA7G4" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-31332716948441315312011-02-15T15:58:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:37:13.219-08:00FIRST DANCE: We need help picking a wedding song!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixqJPLCec3QKzMNGOWkSepjG1cbZVAE-7KJhBXpcwEPgfMiI-iV2IPelzSJe0rDjyO0gbTAJudrp0XvMi2LLry6S10ti5n5kUobCjcR9dkLlPJfP35UQgF7Ee-BavgeaWmuQ4ETVlUKTIN/s1600/Wedding-Songs-for-First-Dance2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixqJPLCec3QKzMNGOWkSepjG1cbZVAE-7KJhBXpcwEPgfMiI-iV2IPelzSJe0rDjyO0gbTAJudrp0XvMi2LLry6S10ti5n5kUobCjcR9dkLlPJfP35UQgF7Ee-BavgeaWmuQ4ETVlUKTIN/s320/Wedding-Songs-for-First-Dance2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me and my fiancé are getting married in a few months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the details are coming together but there is one thing we are stressing out about… picking a wedding song!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truth is, we never had a “song” while we were dating and now we’re stuck picking a random one to dance to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ideally it would be a fairly recent song that many people would be familiar with (90s or newer) and we both love R&B music, so preferably in that genre.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do we pick a song that has meaning but isn’t too cheesy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any recommendations? (Chicago, IL)</i></span></div><a name='more'></a><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Congratulations on your pending nuptials!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Choosing a song for your “First Dance” can be exciting and fun for both of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We agree that avoiding a song that is too cheesy is the right approach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finding one that has the right touch of meaning, emotion and timelessness will make your first dance that much more memorable.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Since both of you would like a well-known/classic song from either the 90’s or recent and somewhere in the R&B category, we have divided some recommendations in the following categories below.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take a look and see if these get your wheels turning in your head and you find one that calls out to you both.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">EMOTIONAL SONGS (you’ll want to cry while you dance)</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">All-4-One – So Much In Love</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Babyface & Mariah Carey - Everytime I Close My Eyes</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Eric Benét & Tamia - Spend My Life with You</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">K-Ci and Jojo <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- All My Life</span></b><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DXvMT_mVbqw" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="text-decoration: none;"></span></span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">SING-A-LONG! (you’ll want to belt out the lyrics while you dance)</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">All-4-One - I Swear</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Jason Mraz – I’m Yours</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Mariah Carey – Thank God I Found You</span></b><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="269" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7KVxjQUCyn0?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">LOVEY DOVEY SONGS (everyone will go ‘awww’ while you dance)</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Alicia Keys – If I Ain’t Got You</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Bruno Mars – Just the Way You Are</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Maxwell – Pretty Wings</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Ne-Yo- Part of the List</span></b><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><div align="center"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="269" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LjhCEhWiKXk?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">EPIC SONGS (timeless and larger-than-life songs!)</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Justin Timberlake & Beyonce – Until the End of Time</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Whitney Houston – Greatest Love</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You</span></b><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><div align="center"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8QaI-M9sxW4?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></div><br />
<b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">THROWBACKS (a nod to the R&B groups of the 90’s!)</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Dru Hill</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> - <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">These Are the Times</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Jodeci<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> - Luv U 4 Life</span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Milestone (Babyface, After 7, K-Ci & Jojo) - <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I Care About You</span></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="269" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6wPkC3DO_7Y?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Did we miss any? Share with us your picks in the comments section!</strong></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-72746867023015202002011-02-14T13:17:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:38:05.632-08:00INTERVIEW: Author of "101 Behaviors a Guy Needs to Understand about his Woman!"<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb4v4cfOG-ovGwrnWWSjfGUQ6Lijopuo-ote2C7bQxboKpWVwelRejgxDvjNmbv-F9m_W-PRC57B6Pj1ok5-TcdJf39EjuXkx32IVMjtFZTELwz2hmNq1eagGpZtuNXCYsivA3X9yQ2L6Y/s1600/101+Behaviors+a+Guy+Needs+to+Understand+Book+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb4v4cfOG-ovGwrnWWSjfGUQ6Lijopuo-ote2C7bQxboKpWVwelRejgxDvjNmbv-F9m_W-PRC57B6Pj1ok5-TcdJf39EjuXkx32IVMjtFZTELwz2hmNq1eagGpZtuNXCYsivA3X9yQ2L6Y/s320/101+Behaviors+a+Guy+Needs+to+Understand+Book+Cover.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Behaviors-Needs-Understand-about-Woman/dp/1456033778">Check it out here!</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">The Social Shrink interviewed the author of </span></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">“<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Behaviors-Needs-Understand-about-Woman/dp/1456033778?ie=UTF8&tag=thesocshr-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">101 Behaviors a Guy Needs to Understand about His Woman!</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thesocshr-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1456033778" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">,”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Jaymes Ian Woode, which comes out this Valentine's Day. This book talks about many of the odd behaviors that guys just don't seem to understand about women and a hysterical take on how to deal with them. Take a look below for our interview with Jaymes and how clueless guys can make their lives easier:</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><em>1. You have a lot of insight on women in your book, with an interesting and funny take on their behaviors. Based on your experience with women, why do you think they act the way they do?</em></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Jaymes Ian Woode:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> I have to admit, I am often not quite sure how or why I understand women the way that I do. Maybe it was from watching my mother being mistreated when I was a child or it’s an innate ability or a combination of both. I seem to be empathic towards anyone who is struggling which is what led me to become a counselor. In my past counseling career, I listened to many women share their side of a relationship and I would sit there and look at the guy who seemed oblivious to her feelings. It just didn’t make sense to me. I mean, here is the woman you supposedly love and yet the guy wasn’t doing anything to give her what she needed from him. That really bothered me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Soon, I learned that when men can apply humor in their own thinking about things, they have a better chance of not retaliating. This is why I added a lot of humor when explaining how they should respond in each of the 101 Behaviors I used in the book.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><em>2. A lot of these behaviors are generalizations on how women would react to situations, do you think women would be offended if they read your book?</em></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">JW:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> I am very afraid that women would be offended because of the generalizations. However, I have personally witnessed, through my past relationships and in counseling, these scenarios really happening. My goal is certainly not to offend either side and I hope that women will see that my goal is to help men get a grip on similar situations in order to be there for their woman the way they are needed. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">I think all of us can identify to some of the scenarios in the book and if you pay close attention to it, I focus primarily on helping the guy understand his woman so that he can provide healthy responses. She needs to know that he is willing to understand her. It makes for a safer and healthier relationship. Secondarily, I believe that women need to see how guys should treat them and respect their emotional needs as well.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><em>3. With many of the answers to womanly behaviors, you pretty much tell men to give in and make a girl feel special. Do you think most guys would take your advice and submit to a woman?</em></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">JW:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> I think that any man who truly adores his beautiful woman would happily discover how to make her feel special and be there for her when she is going through a tough time. Who doesn’t deserve to feel special in a relationship? The guy should want to be the person that she can trust and lean on and who she knows adores her more than anything else. Relationships should offer equality, whereas the </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">guy should be there for his woman just as much as she is for him. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If neither is there for each other than I would question the depth of the relationship and the absence of emotional support which may be something far more involved than what my book covers. Men are often known as fixers and they need to realize that many women don’t want to be fixed; they desire to be appreciated for who they are and want to be understood. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Not every situation calls for submitting and guys have every right to stand up for themselves just as much as women do but my book isn’t about who’s right and who’s wrong. My book is about helping men and women communicate on deeper levels more clearly with each other so they can understand what the other needs, thus creating a healthier relationship.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><em>4. Women have many odd behaviors, how did you choose the ones to publish in your book?</em></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">JW:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> I think we all have many odd behaviors at times! But, as I mentioned earlier, believe it or not, the scenarios come from real-life experiences that I have witnessed in my personal relationships and/or through working with couples in counseling. I chose these particular behaviors because they were the ones most common or most bizarre. I figured it would cover all of the basis as the reader can take the knowledge in the book and apply to other areas more fitting to their relationship.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">The biggest obstacle in helping me decide was figuring out which behaviors causes relationships to often go backward instead of forward. It’s like the question, “Why take two steps back to only gain one step forward?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><em>5. Your book ranges from how to act around a woman's friends, her family to dealing with her PMS. Have you personally dealt with these situations with women?</em></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">JW:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> Yes! And so have many other men. Most women will tell you that there is a lot of truth in their emotional responses to certain environments or happenings. Guys have it too but I haven’t written that book yet. The one thing that I discovered in relationships to help guys is this: When a guy can discover what his woman needs at a given time, (this requires communication between them) than he can do it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Just like the example in the book when his woman leaves him sitting at a table and she takes off with her friends to the dance floor. How should he react to a supposed night out with his woman and her friends? Many guys would overreact and make it about them instead of trying to understand her.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><em>6. If you can give one piece of advice for guys on how to deal with women, what would that be?</em></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">JW:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> I would say this: If you truly care about your woman, take a pause when she is acting in ways that you don’t understand and remind yourself that you are the one person that she has chosen to go through life with. Then, make things better by being there for her the way she needs you to during those times. It’s really not that difficult.</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-14113769524519429292011-02-10T12:40:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:38:20.517-08:00Living with my OCD girlfriend is driving me insane!<div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQK86xoK34zNFkmD5NqmTWx7zLPw9S0j-_GyvJoxlJQmQ-QojryBVH6rX9fSqk2LL5Pwj21hnPeAjwGdfIZ_bHEmC0Z__sqLjnPnNzk1OyNwWmAjZarX_5aaIivi6E2WrQ7IA6YwMxOPzN/s1600/ocd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQK86xoK34zNFkmD5NqmTWx7zLPw9S0j-_GyvJoxlJQmQ-QojryBVH6rX9fSqk2LL5Pwj21hnPeAjwGdfIZ_bHEmC0Z__sqLjnPnNzk1OyNwWmAjZarX_5aaIivi6E2WrQ7IA6YwMxOPzN/s1600/ocd.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_AVFS_sK7-nk/SrP--y4v0NI/AAAAAAAAAFo/GzEUqU9C908/s400/ocd.jpg">[Source]</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I recently moved in with my girlfriend of 2 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are in a really good place and really in love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's just one problem - I can't stand living with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me just say again that I love my girlfriend, but sometime she drives me crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has all of these 'rules' now that we share an apartment - when we're eating dinner, I have to chew a certain way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I'm brushing my teeth, my toothbrush needs to face a certain direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After I shower, she yells at me if I make the bathmat too wet because she says it grosses her out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isn't this a little too much? She complains about everything I do: shaving (don't leave hairs in the sink), watching TV (volume can't exceed a certain point), sleeping in our bed (I can't face her because she says I breath too hard in her face)... the list goes on!!! I hope this doesn't lead to us breaking up - what should I do???</i> (Los Angeles, CA)</span></div><a name='more'></a><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> Oh, the joys of living with your significant other!</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Being in a relationship and living together are two totally different things. Adjusting to someone else's habits is always hard and you both need to get used to each other. She is used to living a certain way and so are you. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Try compromising with her. For example, put your toothbrush on the other side of the sink and let her know that is your side. You can do whatever you want with your side of the sink and can turn your toothbrush in whatever direction you would like. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Let her know you won't turn on the TV too loud at certain times, like when she is sleeping. If the bathmat is too wet, then get your own bathmat and just use that when you shower. Talk to her, let her know these rules drive you crazy. She might not know that what she is doing is driving you crazy. These are habits of hers that she's been living with for so long and it takes time accommodate yours as well. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">See this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your girlfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you both can compromise and find ways to adjust to each other’s living style, that is a sign that you two are in a really strong and healthy relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you cannot compromise and continue to be aggravated by each other’s actions, this may be a red flag that things between you two may not be meant to be. After all, this is only a preview. If you plan to marry her then you would have to live with this for years to come... and that wouldn’t be fun for you! Then again, there is always divorce… Just kidding!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-20121452210682433752011-02-07T06:47:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:38:32.408-08:00I have social media drama<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGxNOG2AQxNIC0388_waEw8tNOYWbkUeqskhDI_OrkeEvx2yArcCRQOeuF01sVI-6vyr0GzJBqYi0wFn15zpeIzmR7xJWvbqtWzqRJXgy3JZPrCQ5MX-dyLecrV-P0cnokpbkFA-2NERE/s1600/the-social-network-poster.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGxNOG2AQxNIC0388_waEw8tNOYWbkUeqskhDI_OrkeEvx2yArcCRQOeuF01sVI-6vyr0GzJBqYi0wFn15zpeIzmR7xJWvbqtWzqRJXgy3JZPrCQ5MX-dyLecrV-P0cnokpbkFA-2NERE/s400/the-social-network-poster.png" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Social Media opens up an easy platform for people to talk smack!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What should I do when people start bitching about me in their twitter and blogs with their friends? I think they've misunderstood me a big time. I rant angrily about some girl and they kept indirectly saying about “some ugly bitch me & _____ were talking about really doesn't know her ugly roots, she's talking great of herself now” which I think they're talking about me through social websites. It all seems not right and guess what? I privatize and change names of my blog, tumblr, twitter and all my social websites. Now I'm feeling so damn depressed of what had happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My friends told me maybe I was too sensitive but I got the feeling they're talking about me. Am I being paranoid now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>-very disturbed pre-adult teen :(</i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Dear Very Disturbed Pre-teen,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">The thing about being on these social media sites is that people get to say things they would never say to your face and in many cases, in anonymity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take everything you read and see online with a grain of salt.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">With that being said, it seems that your friends are right: you are letting social media get to you. On top of that, you don't know if these people are necessarily talking about you either. Are they naming you explicitly in their Twitter, MySpace, Facebook or other sites you belong to? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If not, then don't worry or stress over it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they are and they are trying to be indirect or implying it’s you they are talking about, they are obviously showing that they are cowardly, passive-aggressive and immature.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If they are naming you explicitly, then you can still fix the situation on your own. If you were ranting about another friend first on your site, and then this person found out about it through your other friends, use your social media platform to apologize. Though it will be hard to admit you were wrong, posting stuff up on the internet becomes open for the world to see and the best thing you can do is own up to it. Use your Twitter and devote a Tweet to saying sorry to anyone you may have offended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or use your Facebook status by saying that you never meant to hurt anyone and that you want to squash any drama.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">The world of Social Media is fast moving, so by the time you use your website to apologize, we’re sure there will be something else someone posts on a different website that might make people mad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do your part in fixing the situation and move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when you’re reading other people’s social media sites and you THINK it’s about you, don’t get paranoid and think the worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are tons of people it could be referring to or it could be about you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But in the end, do you really care? NO! Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because who knows who is on the other side of that computer typing this stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just do your thing and move on to the next website!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-74541346260288240822011-02-05T12:33:00.000-08:002011-03-07T11:38:45.537-08:00HELP! I have two guys for Valentine's Day!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCBWEZ0oHxdvCOCQKf19B95yN4OYsXdP7mo51Tu_JtaNonZZjBP4IDN9jfaOR4Vy__JeDKw9OtBGLReMBYQafW3QrzF_KMG8w8wQCb-s1wbvogAwehaXaxVNc_M8TTP5v1sfVyNi5qrRiw/s1600/choose-between-two-guys-800X800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCBWEZ0oHxdvCOCQKf19B95yN4OYsXdP7mo51Tu_JtaNonZZjBP4IDN9jfaOR4Vy__JeDKw9OtBGLReMBYQafW3QrzF_KMG8w8wQCb-s1wbvogAwehaXaxVNc_M8TTP5v1sfVyNi5qrRiw/s400/choose-between-two-guys-800X800.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">[Article first published as <a href="http://technorati.com/women/article/help-i-have-two-guys-for/" target="_blank">HELP! I have two guys for Valentine's Day!</a> on Technorati.]</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">With Valentine's Day coming up, everyone is scrambling to find a Valentine. Some lucky folks even have two! Like in <a href="http://www.kentucky.com/2011/02/03/1621903/sexcetera-she-cant-choose-between.html">this woman's dilemma</a>, the reader needs to choose between two guys.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> <i>I have a dilemma. I am seeing two different guys and they both asked me out on Valentine's Day. I'm not exclusive with either one of them since I’ve just been just casually dating. For both of them I told them I'm not sure if I will be free because I can't decide who to spend it with. One of them is a great, stable guy that I enjoy hanging out with. The other one is more fun but I'm not sure if he is the commitment type. If they were both put together into one person, then he'd be perfect! I feel like if I reject one of them the other one will be offended and not date me anymore. Should I go to dinner with one then grab drinks with the other? Should I just pick one? HELP! (Miami, FL)</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";"> No matter what, we recommend that you do not go out with one for dinner then drinks with the other. Do you just want to make yourself even MORE confused?! We think not.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If you are juggling more than one guy, a good general rule is to give it at least a day before seeing the next guy. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if a guy came from a date with another girl to meet up with you. Or, what if he cut dessert short with you to grab drinks with his other date? If you don't like either of them, then take a break this year from Valentine's Day. If you are keeping the two of them around for an ego boost – get over yourself! Don’t string these poor guys along like puppy dogs.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If the problem is that you don't know who to choose, think about what you are looking for in a significant other and then think about the qualities of each guy. Are you looking for someone that has a good job? Adventurous? Smart & educated? Good sense of humor? Try to figure out what you are looking for in a guy and see which one fits the bill. Nobody is perfect so you might not find everything you want in one of these guys, but I'm sure there are more good qualities in one than the other.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">If you are not looking for a serious relationship, then why not have fun with the guy that is more fun but less committed? If you see yourself with the more stable guy in the long run, then go with him. Either way, use this opportunity to get yourself together and pick ONE guy for your needs. While we commend that you are able to get lots of guys to want to date you, we also don’t promote doing it just for an ego boost or because you’re selfish. (They aren’t toys.) The dating scene is always complicated — try to figure out what you are getting out of dating these guys and go from there. Good luck!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", "sans-serif";">What would you do if you were in this situation? </span></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-29558156053087866962011-01-30T02:50:00.000-08:002011-02-05T12:42:18.362-08:00I'm single this year and dreading Valentine's Day!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiizam08eoit21zQWyAmUF1HT2mkVyoNYsXmzSUwdGRlAj9ivQMXtR4IwMCwyHMQfprFV1NGrHPcOZ9x4MvyVwt5YeN3MlKK4LbHM-iaBeeBHMEZA_7-WazI7HCg8hGmN8vhzZAsXT5htAN/s1600/cupid-valentines-day1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiizam08eoit21zQWyAmUF1HT2mkVyoNYsXmzSUwdGRlAj9ivQMXtR4IwMCwyHMQfprFV1NGrHPcOZ9x4MvyVwt5YeN3MlKK4LbHM-iaBeeBHMEZA_7-WazI7HCg8hGmN8vhzZAsXT5htAN/s320/cupid-valentines-day1.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirQKxjEZUbwccCuXxgDAgyjANMrmUIMF-3ZjB4DY5RBzHSzs-Gk_ITxzR23oqkF7bU7EJ35PuQgK60HZkTyfoaqGmrIxzA1j7G_OaUthhy4QivE3QLLfASYf5BK5U6fU3lYyAQby2iTqc/s400/cupid-valentines-day1.gif">[Source]</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> <i>This is the first year in a long time that I will most likely be alone for Valentine's Day and I hate it! I feel like calling up an ex and hanging out with him just so he can take me out on Valentine's Day though I know I don't want to pursue anything with him after that. All of my friends have bfs/gfs and it is driving me crazy, especially this time of the year! I've been talking to a few guys but not so sure if they are the type to do anything for Valentine's Day. How can I get through this stupid holiday?! (</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">New York</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">NY</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">)</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: small;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> Don't panic, it's just a day! Don't let the sight of couples bring you down. Even though you are not in a relationship now, you still have friends and family that love you very much. Why let one day change all that? Also, don't count on these exes to take you out to do something special just because it’s Valentine's Day - you just might be even more disappointed. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Let's face it, guys will do the most minimal work possible and most of them won't do anything if they don't feel obligated. We also do not recommend calling up an ex just to have something to do on Valentine's Day. This will send the wrong message to him and complicate things between you two. You’re using them and that’s not cool.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">To get over this feeling, focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy on a daily basis leading up to “V-day” and don't concentrate on where your friends are in their relationships. They are in different situations and you shouldn’t compare your happiness to others’ happiness – they are not equivalent.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">For 2011, create your own definition of what Valentine’s Day is for you. For example, Valentine’s Day lands on a Monday this year. Perhaps this can be an opportunity where you reach out to some of your single co-workers and plan a Happy Hour gathering after work that day. Not only will you be doing something fun and not thinking about a significant other, but you will also be getting to know some new people that could eventually be great friendships down the line.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Don’t use this time to feel sorry for yourself (avoid watching sappy movies and eating ice cream from the container – you’ll regret it). Since you mentioned you’ve had Valentine’s in the past, use this year to take time away from the holiday and try something new. Be your own Valentine this year and do stuff that makes <u>you</u> happy! It’s a win-win!</span></span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5733350316680017044.post-69347146395506748562011-01-28T12:05:00.000-08:002011-01-30T02:57:47.604-08:00I hit "Reply All" by mistake!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuDDvR8ldAmmpIHQAPSIx6J9jk2oP81foJeqOtyy4q9cp_olK_UQjmppowrx-UqLkIzjeoI171pDU-byvnziOdgUkw5kEtPiYzaK_sLk3RWPsPz1GWt6iUVcsj2RI2V0jXJ6b7iPKK-nNc/s1600/custom4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuDDvR8ldAmmpIHQAPSIx6J9jk2oP81foJeqOtyy4q9cp_olK_UQjmppowrx-UqLkIzjeoI171pDU-byvnziOdgUkw5kEtPiYzaK_sLk3RWPsPz1GWt6iUVcsj2RI2V0jXJ6b7iPKK-nNc/s400/custom4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Question:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"> <i>So my friend sends a mass email to all of our friends about her birthday party. She goes off on how she wants to go this really expensive restaurant, then go out to a swanky bar, and has all of these requests. Basically, she’s telling us to pay for her for all these things which is fine since it’s her birthday, but… a little demanding! Anyway, I meant to respond to my one friend basically saying “WTF – she’s being so demanding!” but accidentally hit reply all and it got sent to all of my other friends – including the friend I was complaining about! HELP!!! (Palo Alto CA)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
<a name='more'></a><b><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Social Shrink:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"> The infamous “Reply All” mistake! Everyone has either done this or knows someone who accidentally did this. You are not alone!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">The thing about e-mail not only makes it that much easier to communicate with others, it also opens up a plethora of “e-mistakes” that may put you in some cringe-worthy positions.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">If your note was offensive or may cause an uproar amongst your friends, our suggestion is two-fold: </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">(1) As soon as you can, send a direct message to the friend who you (most likely) offended. This direct contact should ideally be over the phone or in person (this way you get a direct response from her). Last resort is sending her an e-mail (less ideal since she could ignore it completely). Tell her that you didn’t mean to upset her, and that you hate that she had to hear how you were feeling this way. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Then, tell her that what you were venting about was because of X, Y and Z. The worst thing you can do is pretend you didn’t mean it or that it was never said. The truth is – you said it, so own up to it. Let her know it’s not the best scenario for you to tell her how you feel, but that you said what you said because you felt she was asking for a lot for her birthday considering you would have to drop a lot of money (which you may not have or be willing to spend).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">(2) After you smooth things over with your friend, send another “reply all” message to the group apologizing for that mistaken message. It can go something like this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">“Hi all! Apologies for the last message I sent. I cleared this all up with (NAME of offended friend) and we’re all good. Can’t wait to hang out!”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Make the message short and sweet – and move on!</span></div>THE SOCIAL SHRINKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15857919426397760033noreply@blogger.com3