Take Ms. Gaga's advice - Lady Gaga - "Born This Way"
Question: Recently, I've noticed all of my friends have been getting hit on when we go out to clubs - except me! It seems whenever we go to a bar/club, they are all talking to guys the whole time. I feel like no guys notice me. I'm not sure if it's just me but I feel like I don’t have sex appeal =( I know this might be my own insecurity but I can't help wonder why I don't get the same attention. Can you offer any advice? (Irvine, CA)
Social Shrink: You want to know what is sexy? Confidence is sexy. Holding a conversation is hot. Having that eye contact that tells the other person that you know who you are and what you want is extremely appealing. You can be the most gorgeous girl in the room – but if you walk around hunched over and unsure of yourself, looking paranoid and insecure, then that is a big turn-off!
In your situation, if guys don't pay attention to you at a bar, then that's their loss. Since when does having a guy approach you at a bar validate your ‘hotness’ level? Reassess the situation and look at what you are assuming about yourself. Now throw all of those assumptions OUT THE WINDOW, and snap out of it!!!
As Lady Gaga said, "Don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you're set." Going out with your friends shouldn't be stressful, it should be to go out and have fun! So don't worry about who is hitting on who or how many guys ask for your phone number. Be confident that you look great, have an amazing group of friends, and don’t need any guy to validate your self-worth.
Once you are able to love yourself for you and exude that killer confidence to the world, that is when you will be able to find someone who loves you for you. Also, nobody said that you HAVE to meet a guy at a bar or club. How about a coffee shop? Through friends? A cocktail party at a friend’s place? Bars and clubs actually are the most sketchiest to meet someone, so… that sucks for your friends who are finding guys there.
Moral of the story – no one is prettier than you: not your friends, not the girl walking by you, no one. Because no one can compare to you at any level – you are you. Know that you deserve the very best and one day you will find the right guy for you who appreciates you as the unique and beautiful individual that you are - no matter where the place you meet.