Friday, March 4, 2011

My boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex!

90210 - Donna didn't sleep with David until she felt it was the right time... 7 years later in their relationship!
Question:  I’m a Sophomore in high school and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months.  He’s the second serious boyfriend and recently he’s been pressuring me to have sex with him.  We’ve made out a few times and recently, he’s been wanting more.  I definitely don’t want to have sex with him yet, but he keeps being pushy about it and that’s making me not want to even more.  I told my friends about it and they made me paranoid that he might break up with me because I won’t.  What should I do?  I don’t want to lose him… (Columbus, OH)

Social Shrink:  If you actually think your boyfriend would break up with you because you don’t want to have sex with him, then boot his @$$ to the curb before he has the chance to break up himself.  Seriously – do you want to be in a relationship that is based on whether or not you sleep with him?  He’s manipulating and guilt-tripping you – set him straight!

On 90210, David and Donna were high school sweethearts.  Donna didn't want to sleep with David until the time was right... and he was patient and understood.  After some ups and downs in their relationship, Donna ended up sleeping with David once she felt the time was right and she knew she was in love.  In the end, these two ended up getting married!  Here's one example from TV where you can actually model your life after - don't do anything you don't feel ready for.  You will know when the time is right!

This is a clear-cut answer: if you don’t want to have sex with him, then DON’T!  Don’t let the pressures from the your boyfriend, your friends, or society determine what you want to do with your body.  If you don’t feel like the time is right, don’t feel comfortable, or just don’t want to do it all, then you have the right to feel that way. 

As a general rule, you should never feel like you are obligated to do stuff for other people because they put pressure on you to do so.  That takes away from your self-worth and freedom to be independent.  Other people shouldn’t dictate your life, what you do with your body, and the decisions you make – only you do!

Sex should be taken seriously and shouldn’t be used as a way to keep someone in a relationship.  If your boyfriend is telling you he’s going to bolt if you don’t give it up, then we say you say “ADIOS” to this loser and let the door hit him on the way out!


  1. UGH. It's so scary to think of 15-year-olds making these decisions. :( I know it's reality, but it's still an ugly reality.

    Good advice, though.

  2. If you do decide to have sex with your boyfriend, make sure you used protection! If he tries to pressure you to have sex without protection, that's another sign you should give him the boot!!!

  3. I'm with the shrink -- run! If he loves you, he'll wait. If he won't wait, he's not worth it. Period.

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