Sunday, January 9, 2011

"You have been tagged in a Facebook photo album" = evidence that my friends went out without me!

Can you friends see tagged photos of you on Facebook?
Question:  Me and my two best girl friends are known as “The Trio.”  We do everything together! The other day, I logged onto Facebook and saw that my two friends were tagged in some guy’s photo album.  There were all these photos of my friends out at a bar with some random guys, drinking, having fun and all I could think was… no one ever invited me! I was so shocked and annoyed. My anger then turned to confusion… were they trying to exclude me on purpose? They never exclude me in anything, should I confront them about it or let it go? (New York, NY)

Social Shrink: What would we do without Facebook?!  But in all seriousness, feeling left out is never a good feeling.  However, these girls are your friends so you should at first give them the benefit of the doubt. Facebook photos may give you a small snapshot (pun intended) of what went on that night.  Wait until you hear from your friends directly to get the full picture.

Maybe there was a miscommunication on their part to let you know. Are you the type to never go out to the bars or drink? Maybe they know that is something you don't like doing so they assumed you didn't want to come.  Or, perhaps it wasn’t planned and it was a spontaneous outing.  Are you sure you never get any missed calls/texts from them?

In any case, you should address (not confront) the issue with your friends - maybe one of the two that you feel most comfortable with. Just let her know that you saw tagged photos of your friends on Facebook and know they went out the other night. Share with her that you are curious as to why you were not invited. Ask your friend to be honest with you to get to the root of the issue.

Even if the Facebook pictures show they were out and having fun, Facebook can tell a different story than what really happened. The only way to find out is to ask your friends.  In the end, let’s all be mindful of what can show up on Facebook – you never know when you’re going to get tagged!


  1. Get over it. Don't act like your two best friends have to include you in EVERYTHING. It just makes you seem desperate, no matter how much you do together. Maybe that "some guy" was someone they knew from somewhere else. Or maybe it was a last minute thing, or maybe you were busy that night so they didn't bother to ask you.

    My group of friends go out and do things without me, and without some other people too. Sometimes people feel as if they're not spending enough time with someone else so they go to catch up. It's no big deal.

    I know this one guy who always complains that he's never invited to anything. So we invite him to something, and then he says " it was an alright party". (plus he's EXTREMELY obnoxious and annoying and touchy) so we don't invite him to anything anymore, and now he complains about it. I don't get why, we don't have to do everything with everyone, trio or not.

  2. Maybe this is a way for you to branch out and meet other people, and not totally rely on them. It's always nice to have your close friends and always go out with them, but if you are feeling left out and have this insecurity of them going out and not including you, you should definitely bring it up to them.