I wish all girls made the first move - like Britney Spears!

Britney's new single "Hold It Against Me" leaked today!

Question:  The past two girlfriends I’ve had both were the type that made the first move.  They both told me they liked me and wanted to be with me – it was great!  Now that I’m single, I’m having a hard time approaching girls I’m interested in because I don’t know if they are interested in me.  Before, I knew my girlfriends liked me because they were upfront about it.  Now, all these girls like to play games.  Why can’t all girls just be upfront and make the first move for once? (Las Vegas, NV)

Social Shrink:  In a perfect world, everyone could just be honest about who they are interested in:

Boy: Hi, My name is Bob.

Girl: Hi, my name is Britney.

Boy: You’re hot.  I like you.

Girl: I like you too.  Let’s go out.

Boy: Deal.

Take Britney Spears’s new single “Hold it Against Me” that just leaked today.  Her lyrics:

“Hey, over there, please forgive me/If I’m coming on too strong” and “If I said my heart was beating loud/If we could escape the crowd somehow/If I said I want your body now/Would you hold it against me?” 

It looks like Brit Brit would be the perfect girl for you – she comes on strong, she tells it like it is and she doesn’t hold back!

Unfortunately, the dating game does not exist like that.  Additionally, traditional gender roles place the “pursuer” as the male, while the female remains the one being in pursuit.  True, it’s the 21^st century, and it sounds like your ex-girlfriends (and Britney Spears) were the proactive type.  Rather than wait around for their guy to approach them, they sought after what they wanted, who they wanted, and how they wanted in a relationship.  Good for them! 

Reality is - there is going to need a bit of give and take.  While there will be many girls who are aggressive and will let you know what they want, that shouldn’t mean that you can just sit back and wait for them.  If you see a girl you are genuinely interested in and she hasn’t necessarily showed that interest back, you need to play your part in the “game” and win her over, so to speak.  There shouldn’t be one-side in these situations – you need to step it up and play an active role as both pursuer and the one in pursuit.

It’s time for you to be like Britney Spears and just tell it like it is.  If you like a girl and she’s playing games, go right for the target and tell her how you feel – even if it may come off as too strong.  It’s better than nothing and she may appreciate your aggressiveness – and not “hold it against you!”