Thursday, December 2, 2010

Single dad and your daughter's first...

Question:  My mom passed away when I was 8 and my father has been raising me since.  Me and my dad are really close - I can always turn to him for anything, we play sports together and we go to basketball games all of the time.

I am 12 now and I recently got my period.  Me and my dad are usually able to talk about anything, but every time I try to bring up stuff like my period and needing to get a bra, he gets uncomfortable.  What should I do? (Chicago, IL) 

Social Shrink:  Well, we really thank you for this question.  I'm sure there are a lot of single fathers out there who all go through this experience with their daughters.

I know it is probably hard to bring up this topic, so the fact that you tried to with your father is a great first step.  Since your father may still be adjusting to this change, hearing it from you may be too uncomfortable for him. Perhaps bring it up to an aunt, female cousin, or older sister who could talk to your dad about this.  You could also ask them any questions from their own experience.  If you don't have any other women in your family to talk to, perhaps try a a family friend, mentor, school counselor or doctor who may be able to answer your questions.  It can be a sensitive subject since your father may not know what to say or it may just be hard for him to accept that his little girl is growing up.

If you do decide to go to a female family member or doctor who you trust, let your dad know that you talked to them and that you are okay.  It will take some time for him to get used to it and talk freely about it... or he may still feel uncomfortable.  Just be patient, he will come around since the two of you are so close.  Although your body may be changing, your close relationship with your dad will still stay the same.  Good luck!

1 comment:

  1. The moment a child is born, the father is also born. He never existed before. The man existed, but the father, never. A father is something absolutely new. What a lovely quote. Dedicated to all single fathers. Thanks for the lovely post.

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