Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Should I try online dating?

Question: I've been single for 3 years now and all of my friends are always trying to get me to join an online dating site.  They tell me it's the new way to filter guys out and find what I'm looking for since people are too busy to meet in person.  Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to meet people face to face.  I get a sense of who they are, if we click, what they look like (not photoshopped), etc ... Am I being unreasonable?  I guess I've kind of come to a wall, and am sort of considering the idea, but am not totally open to it.  It would be nice to get another opinion, so Social Shrink, shrink it up! (Washington, DC)

Social Shrink:  That is a great question! First off, I do want to thank you for this question because I’m sure everyone has thought about it or hesitated about online dating.  BUT, let’s be real, this is the 21st century.  This is the age of social networking and people are spending way more time on the computer and on the internet than before.  We do everything on the computer: pay bills, shop, talk to other people, so why not just try dating???  Check out these online dating statistics (source at bottom):
  • 1 in 5 singles have had a relationship with someone they met on a website.
  • For singles who use dating websites 33% form a relationship
  • The gender split of online daters is 50-50.
You have nothing to lose.  I can understand your concerns with not having that type of initial face-to-face interaction, however, you also do get to know them in a different way.  When it's online, if you don’t like them when talking to them via e-mail, you can just stop sending them messages (and never even have to meet them)!  You can browse profiles in the comfort of your own home.  You can screen people based on their spelling errors and grammar.  After a few e-mail exchanges, if it doesn't work out you can just hit 'delete' and move onto the next profile.  I know it's been awhile since you dated, but I think this will help you ease back in to the dating world. 

If you are concerned about who they really are or what they really look like, I know people do embellish on the internet, but if their personality is the right fit, you can take that chance and meet in person when you're ready.  All in all,  it’s time to have an open mind and give another outlet or source a try.

If you are searching for a long term relationship, I would try credible sites like eHarmony or  If you're ready to be serious with someone and you can remove the stigma you've placed on such dating sites, the odds of you finding someone are in your favor.  Having the right attittude and approach is most important when signing up for these sites.  Sign up fpr a site that best suits what you're looking for, take your time, and get your friends to help you navigate through the website.  Just take baby steps and hopefully those steps will lead you to the right man!

For more information, check these out:


  1. I would seriously suggest trying OKCupid, too. Their site is easy to work, ENTIRELY free, and really... fun? Their staff have built a lovely (and sometimes silly) website and their matching algorithms are top notch. They have powerful filters and I feel like the profiles on OKCupid are more "real" than on other sites.

    Hell, it's fun to just sign up and do their personality tests to kill time, even if you don't find anyone who catches your interest.

    Anyway, I also feel like online dating is, in some ways, more "real" than trying to meet people IRL. People are more likely to relax and be themselves when chatting online than they are on a formal date. And you're more likely to find people who share your interests when you explicitly go looking for them online, versus having to randomly find them in real life.

  2. I agree!! Everyone finds people through online dating sites, I have plenty of friends who've tried it and met great people. If I didn't have a gf already, I would probably do it too!