Tuesday, December 14, 2010

My girlfriend only has guy friends - should I be worried?

[Source]
Question:  I started dating my girlfriend 3 months ago.  She's always had a lot of guy friends (and I'm not a jealous guy, I don't think), but over this past weekend one of her guys friends who lives out of town went to visit her and gave her a present for no reason.  What should I think of it? (Phoenix, AZ)

Social Shrink:  It's probably safe to assume that you girlfriend only has out with guys simply because she doesn't get along with girls.  There's less drama when she's just friends with the guys and you can't blame her for that.  If she sees them as anything more and you're concerned about it, you should talk to her about it.  This also applies if you feel that her friends may see her as more than just a girl they hang out with.
 
In terms of the one guy friend that went to visit her and gave her the gift - maybe there is a reason for the gift so you don't need to jump to any conclusions just yet. If you sense that there is something other than "friendship" going on then confront your girlfriend ASAP - don't let your feelings boil over into something worse. She should be open and communicate with you.

Maybe she can compromise hanging out with him all the time and perhaps back off from him to consider your feelings as well. You could also hang out with them in a group and then you would be able to have a good feel of what the intentions really are. If this is a situation where you do feel like there are other guys trying to be with your girlfriend then you have to evaluate how much you can really tolerate, and if your girlfriend is willing to consider your feelings. If there is no compromise either by you or her then it may just be better to let her go. If you are the one truly being jealous, you need to have that trust or else this relationship will not last long at all. The last thing any girl wants is a jealous boyfriend.

4 comments:

  1. Hmm that is very interesting. Even if she doesn't get along with other girls, I feel like something is wrong with that. Is she normally not loyal to her girl friends? I think that's something to seriously consider. And I hope for your sake she didn't hook up with any of these guys before. That would be awakwardddd!

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  2. Hmm, so is your response... although I came upon this article years later I have to say, your not helping Ms. I am one of those females who only has guy friends and one of them happens to be my ex-husband, another an ex-boyfriend. It's reasons specifically like your post that I don't choose to befriend women. They spend their time sowing seeds of drama and distrust, wreaking havoc in other peoples healthier relationships. Without knowing the specifics of any situation it is impossible to pose those questions without a hint of malice. To expand on your "awakwardddd" comment (also needlessly bringing negativity to a tender topic) yes it is and very hard to move past when people dont have good heads on their shoulders. I am loyal, my friends (including the very few women I speak 2) family and co-workers will all say without issue. It is not wrong or right to get along with anyone, it is personal preference for comfort. Just as most 16 year old girls don't hang out with groups of 55 year old men talking about golf, it doesn't rule it out... its just not as common. Some women don't like to do many things other women like to do. I am one of those people... maybe if your post had something helpful in it I would feel differently but until then I sit waiting for a female friend I can trust and communicate with.

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  3. Keanu, you're a nasty whore that lacks self respect. No guy wants to be "friends" with a female. It's just facts. You say that one is an ex-husband and the other is an ex-boyfriend, proves that you're a whore. Those dudes just see you as an easy hole to stick their dick in during desperate times or are waiting like vultures to jump on you the minute you're vulnerable and insecure. By the way it sounds you're probably vulnerable and insecure...guys make other guy friends lives a little tough, we break each others balls, but this is because we care for one another. You're saying you don't like the girl equivalent and would rather hang out with guys who are probably nice to you all the time. They're only nice cause they want to pasture your tits in their jizz. Honestly they don't respect you or care about your feelings. They were probably trying to hit it, but got friend zoned and just stayed there with the slightest hopes of getting with you. Congratulations though you're a whore...I feel sorry for anyone that has the slightest misfortune to be in a intimate relationship. Oh hey...here's a tip. Guys don't like whore after we plastered them in jizz...you're basically an object or a place to dump our sperm. We like ladies who have self respect and knows to not keep her e. playthings around because she doesn't need the attention. Confidant and secure not women like you though.

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