Friday, November 19, 2010

Wedding bell blues: I wasn't asked to be a part of the wedding party

Question:  I am close friends with a couple and they recently got engaged.  We spend every weekend together and I always thought that if they ever planned to get married, they would ask me to be a part of their bridal party.  During this past few weeks, however, they have asked their OTHER friends to be a part of their bridal party - either as groomsmen or bridesmaids.  I was completely snubbed! I'm hurt because I was not asked to be a part of their bridal party.  Since I was completely ignored, I don't even want to go their wedding at this point.  Do I have a right to feel this way?  Will I be a bad friend if I skipped out on the nuptials? (Phoenix, AZ)

What if you were in Brad and Jenn's wedding party? [Source]
Social Shrink:  This is a sensitive subject - if every couple could include every person they care about in their wedding party, situations like this wouldn't exist.  If you truly are close friends with the couple and would love to be a part of their wedding party, that shows how much this couple means to you.  

On the flip side, while you may very well be extremely important to the couple, they may have other obligations for others to be in their bridal party (i.e. brothers, sisters, cousins, etc.).  It may be difficult to come to terms with the fact that they didn't ask you to be a part of their wedding party, but they very well may feel uncomfortable that they can't include you as well.  It's important to understand that during a big event such as a wedding, it's impossible to accommodate all important people that will be in the wedding.  The reality is that in the end, it's whatever makes the engaged couple the happiest with the least amount of stress.

In the long run, you should be happy for the couple and their pending nuptials and go to their wedding with no negative feelings.  After all, they are still your good friends whether or not you're in their wedding party or not.  Go out, have fun and celebrate with your good friends.  For all you know, your future spouse may be present at the wedding - and our prediction is that if that's the case, this whole scenario will be completely forgotten.

What do others think?  Have you been in a situation similar to this?
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