When do I know if I should get a new job?

Are you bored at work?  Ask yourself what's causing this boredom!

Question:  I've been at my job for almost three years and lately I've been bored of it. When I was looking for other jobs, they don't seem that interesting to me either. Do you think it's time for me to leave my current job and find something else? (Chicago, IL)

Social Shrink:  That depends: why are you bored with your job? Is it not challenging enough for you? Is it doing the same thing every day and you don’t feel like you’re learning? Are you so used to it that it bores you? Are you going nowhere in your job?

I hit "Reply All" by mistake!!!

Question:  So my friend sends a mass email to all of our friends about her birthday party.  She goes off on how she wants to go this really expensive restaurant, then go out to a swanky bar, and has all of these requests.  Basically, she’s telling us to pay for her for all these things which is fine since it’s her birthday, but… a little demanding! Anyway, I meant to respond to my one friend basically saying “WTF – she’s being so demanding!” but accidentally hit reply all and it got sent to all of my other friends – including the friend I was complaining about!  HELP!!! (Palo Alto CA)

I HATE MY JOB!

[Source]

Question:  I have a dilemma! I graduated college about a year ago and spent about six months looking for a job. I finally got one... but I hate it! I work as a marketing assistant for a big company but the work I am doing is definitely not what I expected it to be (aka it's all bitch work).  My boss has me run errands for him, walk his dog, call his doctor to make appointments, etc, all while making me do other pointless things like mail letters or copy documents.

Recently I had my first review and was denied a raise. I know my attitude towards my job has changed and my boss has addressed it with me. I told him I've been stressed because of the workload. I really want a new job but since it took me so long to find this one and because of the state of the economy, I don't know if I should quit this one. Please help! (Antioch, CA)

How to create feasible New Year's resolutions



Happy 2011!



Question:  With 2011 coming up, I want to start thinking about what my new year's resolutions will be.  Ever year I make a list, but by the time February or March rolls around, they are usually kicked to the curb.  Any advice on how to make some good resolutions?  (New York, NY)

Social Shrink:  Here is our advice - there's no point in making new year's resolutions if they are unattainable or are not possible in real life (i.e. I want to grow wings or I want to be invisible for a day).  We have developed a short list for you to think about as you begin to make your 2011 resolutions:

Man's Best Friend - why dogs are the best therapy

[Source]

Question:  I've had a rough couple of months - I broke up with my ex and then a few weeks later, found out I was getting laid off.  The holidays don't make things easier and I've been feeling really down.  I'm trying to stay away from alcohol, eating too much, and definitely staying away from retail therapy.  What can I do that will make me feel better without having to feel guilty afterward?  (Toronto, Canada)

Social Shrink:  Since it's the holidays, if you have some great friends and family to surround you, that is the best place to start.  They are the ones who will provide you with unconditional love to get you through the hard time.  Just realize that these hard times will pass and you should be comforted to know that your family and true friends will always be there for you.

You should also use this time for self-reflection - think of the positives that come out of these situations.  Now that you are single, start taking advantage of doing stuff for YOU and what makes you the happiest.  In terms of your job, reflect on the next step and what would be your perfect job.  Once you're able to narrow this down, research how you can get there.  This time you should focus on YOU.

We'd also like to use this opportunity to share one of our personal ways to feel better and is, in our opinion, the best therapy after a bad day: dogs.  Dogs offer you unconditional love and attention when you need it most.  They are loyal companions who not only make dog owner's days brighter, but also are used in therapy for Alzheimer's disease and in clinical settings as comfort for the terminally ill.  Below are some adorable photos of puppies that may even make your day a little bit brighter.  Enjoy!



[Source]

[Source]

[Source]

VENT SESSION #1: Top 10 most irritating things

[Source]

Every now and then we want to allow our readers to just vent and let it all out.  Today we kick off Vent Session #1.  Ready... GO!

Top 10 Things That Irritate You The Most :

10.  Not getting paid on time. (soooo... I worked my @$$ off, and there's no money. Great.)

9.    Slow drivers who are driving in the fast lane.  (step on it or get out of the way!)

8.  Dumb/annoying co-workers. (don't talk to me or look at me)

7.  People who dont cover their mouth when they sneeze/cough.  (did you really just sneeze into my mouth?)

6.  Drunk people talking to you when you're sober.  (WTF, get away from me, I'm sober and you're not funny)

5.  People who can't admit they are wrong.  (even when they are blatantly wrong, they just cannot own up to it.  Annoying!)

4.  People who block the whole aisle while grocery shopping.  (see #9.  MOVE OVER!!!)

3.  People who don't shower/have poor hygiene in general.  (shower? deoderant? toothpaste & toothbrush? Anyone? Bueller?)

2.  People who think they are big shots... when they aren't.  (no comment)

1.  People who talk loud on their cell phone in public places.  (STFU - SERIOUSLY!!!)

My boyfriend offered to pay for my boob job... should I do it?

Please do not go to the extreme like Heidi Montag

Question:  I've been dating my boyfriend for about three years and one day I started joking about getting a boob job.  Ever since then, he's been bringing it up with me for weeks on end even though it all started off as a joke.  The other day, he sat me down and seriously offered to pay for me to get it done.  He even printed out a list of doctors in the area that he had researched on.  He's 100% serious and although it caught me off guard, I'm considering it since it is something I've thought about.  Should I do it?  Or will I regret it?  (Sacramento, CA)

Social Shrink:  I'm going to answer this truthfully as if you were my sister or good friend.  When I first got this question from you, my initial reaction was that your boyfriend doesn't love you for who you are.  The fact that he is offering for you to change your body shows that he is not satisfied with the real you.  Are you not offended that he doesn't think you are perfect the way you are?  A significant other should love you both inside and out for everything you are.  If they one day say something like, "Dress this way" or "Think this way," I would personally think it's a red flag that they are not the one.

Holiday sales worth getting trampled on?

MCT PHOTO

Question:  Every year I come home from college for Thanksgiving and my mom always drags me to go shopping on Black Friday while my sister gets to stay home.  It’s been a tradition since I could remember, however, I absolutely hate it!!!  I hate the crowds, I hate the vicious people that argue, I hate parking, I hate people shoving me, etc… How do I tell my mom that I don’t want to go without disappointing her? (St. Louis, MO)

Social Shrink:  I think what you just said absolutely describes Black Friday - it is pure chaos.  But, it doesn't seem like your mother will be upset that you don't like Black Friday, but rather that you don't want to spend the time with her.  If it's something you have done with your mother for years, she may consider it her "bonding time" with you.  It may hurt her to find out that you have never liked this time with your mother for all these years.

I'm a recent college grad living at home... and caught my parents snooping!

[Source]

Question:  Social Shrink - I recently graduated from college and moved back home with my parents.  I'm trying to save some money before moving out on my own and my parents agreed it was a good idea.  The other day I came home from work and caught my mom snooping through my desk drawers!  On top of that, a few days before my dad "accidentally" opened my mail.  I'm going crazy... I can't afford to move out on my own but I can't take this anymore!!! (Chicago, IL)

Social Shrink:  The New York Times had a recent article who quoted someone who is in a similar situation as you:

• “Living at home absolutely crimps my social life,” she said. “You’re still living under your parents’ rules. I refer to it as being stuck in an extended adolescence, one that never seems to end.” (“Facing a Financial Pinch, and Moving In With Mom and Dad," 3/21/10)

This seems to sum it up right there.  That is the trade-off you get for moving back under your parents roof.  While you do get to save money and get free meals, you shouldn't feel like you can do whatever you want just because you got yourself a degree and are no longer a teenager.  Bottom line is that when you're living with your parents, you need to abide by their rules.

That doesn't give them a legit reason to open your mail or go through your stuff.  The best advice would be to be as open with them as possible and let them know how you feel about them snooping.  You may not be sharing what's going on in your life enough so it's making them try to figure out what's going on with you with these "creative" ways.  Get rid of the mystery and start talking with them more: tell them how your job is going, how your friends are, etc.  The more you tell them up front, the less they will need to find out how you're doing behind your back. 

As a side note - if you don't have anything to hide then you shouldn't be worried about them snooping.  If you do have something to hide, maybe it's best you get rid of anything you don't want them to find until you get your own place!  That's motivation for you to move out!!!

"Now I'm not saying she's a gold digger..."

Question:  I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 yrs and he finally proposed last month. We've always talked about the type and style of the ring, and he's always mentioned getting a smaller diamond.  I drilled in his head that I wanted a bigger diamond, so he knows that I really wanted a bigger ring.  Now that he's proposed, I've been wearing it for a month and I don't really like it.  What should i do?  I am embarrassed to wear such a small ring!!! (Atherton, CA)

Social Shrink:  Is this question a joke?  All I can see right now are the RED FLAGS meaning... GOLD DIGGER!!!!  Queue Kanye West por favor:

Okay... so, CONGRATS on your engagement.  We are so happy that you two are tying the knot.  But seriously, WTF?!?!  How can you complain about the ring size?!  Aren't you happy enough that you will be marrying "the love of your life"? It shouldn't matter if he proposed with a ring pop, the size of the ring should not be representative of how much he loves you!  Suck it up and realize that the ring does not mean anything.  And seriously, think about if you're a gold digger.  If you you are you, your future hubby better rethink his proposal!!!

HOLLA WE WANT PRE-NUP!  "WE WANT PRE-NUP!!!"

Lending a friend money in good faith... yay or nay?

[Source]

Question:  Five years ago, me and a group of friends were planning a vacation to celebrate graduating from school.  I loaned one of my friends $1,000 in good faith.  If I hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to join us.  Since it was in good faith, I didn't explicitly say when he needed to pay me back and before I knew it, five years has passed.  Recently, I've gotten into a financial bind and I could really use the money.  Can I nudge my friend to pay me back now?  (Los Angeles, CA)

Social Shrink:  What a good friend you are for fronting the money so your friend could join the group vacation!  You must have had enough extra change in your pocket to loan $1,000 for your friend, so the timing of when he was to pay you back must have not been that important at the time.

Your mistake was that you never explicitly communicated your expectations on when you wanted to be paid back.  For all your friend knows, he doesn't have to pay you back until 2020.  On top of that, you waited five years to ask him about the loan only because you need that money now?

We understand money is tight for a lot of people nowadays.  But you also need to consider your scenario - for all you know, your friend could be in a financial bind as well and can't pay you back the loan under the tight timeline you suddenly request.

Here's our $.02 cents:  inform your friend of your recent financial situation.  See where he is at and be flexible.  Have in your mind that he may say he's financially strapped as well before talking to him so you're not surprised.  If both of you are in a bind, let him know that you do expect to be paid back as soon as he can manage it.  Or, if he does have some extra cash available, offer for him to pay you back in installments that are reasonable to his budget.  That way, your friend doesn't have to fork over $1k right away, and you're still getting paid back slowly but surely.

<!--60d809424b8e4341849f953c1df54b7a-->